


Undisclosed Desires

by Queenofthebees



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Cunnilingus, Denial of Feelings, Dirty Talk, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Jealousy, Light Bondage, Masturbation, Mostly Pwp, Nipple Play, No Strings Attached, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Scotland setting, Separations, Sexting, Shameless Smut, Some Plot, Spanking, Squirting, Vaginal Fingering, Wall Sex, okay its becoming more plot as the chapters go on, pffft yeah right, some light angst in future chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2018-07-11
Packaged: 2019-02-16 20:03:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 38,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13061172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenofthebees/pseuds/Queenofthebees
Summary: “I wouldn’t want to ruin you Sansa Stark.”Right now, she wanted him to ruin her.***"Teach me," she whimpered, fingers scrambling for purchase against his sweaty skin. She could feel his grin against her ear."Teach you what?" he whispered, his breath sending shivers through her body, She wound an arm around his neck, angled her head to be able to press her lips to his ear."Teach me to be good at this," she panted.***"You can't spend your whole life afraid to love someone."[I Wont Let You Be Denied original plot re-write]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jonsatrash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jonsatrash/gifts), [wightjon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wightjon/gifts), [Dancingtink](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancingtink/gifts), [Titania_Queen_of_the_Fairies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Titania_Queen_of_the_Fairies/gifts), [SnowStone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnowStone/gifts).



> Hooray, the original (but not really the original ... new, original plot?) plot has been restored lol  
> Okay, so some things will be similar as the first couple of chapters of IWLYBD because it was around chapter 3 of that when Jon decided he was going to have an angst fest instead. Obviously,I wrote it differently, different scenario etc because the characters are different in this (like Jon is). But it is basically a return to the shameless smut, friends with benefits (praise the lord, can I get a hallelujah?) There will be *some* angst but pretty light (Well, compared to IWLYBD, everything is light angst right now!)  
> Jon has a different story in this one, he doesn't have those issues of being a foster kid etc. He lived with Rhaegar after all, although...well, I'm not the man's biggest fan given his actions so lets just say he has had an effect on Jon...
> 
> Tags will be added as chapters go on.

“You know what you need Sans,” Myranda suddenly blurted out, her eyes glistening with mischief and the third wine she had consumed. Sansa swallowed her vodka lemonade through her straw, giving a shake of her head and an intrigued smile. “A hook up with a hot guy!”

“Excuse me?” Sansa spluttered, the vodka burning her throat as she coughed in surprise, her eyes watering. Margaery reached over and patted her on the back sympathetically even as she looked at Myranda in curiosity.

“Yeah,” Myranda continued, nodding her head like the bobbing dog toys in car windows. “Yeah, like some hot sex with a guy who knows what he was doing. Because Harry certainly didn’t know!”

“Well, I mean… it isn’t like I helped either… I was…”

“Don’t you dare!” Margaery and Myranda exclaimed at the same time, narrowing their eyes in unison. Myranda wagged her finger at Sansa.

“Don’t you dare say you were too frigid or too vanilla or whatever the fuck rubbish you were about to spew out. Sex works best when both partners are on the same page and Harry clearly was wanting to make you do things you didn’t want to do.”

“He never raped me!” Sansa hissed in shock at the accusation.

“No, but pressuring you into it as also bad,” Myranda responded. “I’m sorry. I know I am being harsh but honestly, I think a no strings thing would be good for you. You could learn to enjoy sex without the feelings and the relationship.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Sansa muttered, taking another sip of her drink.

“I don’t know,” Margaery piped up, biting her lip and Sansa’s eyes bulged as she looked at the brunette, who shrugged. “I mean, if you can find a guy you can trust, it could work. But you’d have to be sure of what you both want. Set the rules from the start”

“I’m not going to have a fuck buddy!” Sansa exclaimed, feeling her cheeks flush at the thought.

“Your loss,” Myranda replied with a shrug. “It isn’t the middle ages anymore. Women are allowed to enjoy and seek out sex. I think you just need to have a guy show you how it is done.”

“I don’t need sex!” Sansa insisted, already sick of the conversation that she flopped back against the leather seat of the booth, folding her arms in annoyance.

“Everyone needs sex,” Myranda countered easily, smirking as Sansa glared.

“Whatever, this conversation is over!” Sansa stated just as Margaery spoke next to her.

“Hey, is that…is that Jon over there?”

Sansa turned her head to where Margaery was looking towards the door. And sure enough, there in skinny jeans and crisp black button top was Jon Snow walking into the bar and towards the pool table where a couple of guys were signalling to him to come over.

She hadn’t seen him in years, not since Robb’s wedding three years ago. Then he had went on to do his Masters in Cardiff and had then went to work for a year in Berlin. He had more or less became an honourary member of the Stark family for the last seven years, ever since he and Robb had met and became friends at University. He had grown close with Arya too, almost instantly. But Sansa had never really spent much time with him, always in Glasgow when he was visiting the Stark family with Robb or he was the one not there when she visited. And even when they were together in the house at Easter or Christmas, it was just basic small talk between them. She was never rude to him, she just didn’t feel they had anything to say to each other beyond polite small talk.

“Fuck, was he always that hot?” Myranda whispered, licking her lips as Jon bent into position to hit the ball. Sansa felt her eyes drop to his ass automatically, flushing when Margaery turned and raised her eyebrows when she caught her looking.

“You should go and say hi,” she said after a moment, a playful smile tugging at her lips. Sansa shook her head vigorously, eyes wide at the thought.

“Its been years… I haven’t seen him since Robb’s wedding and we barely spoke then either. He was Robb’s friend, and Arya’s, not mine.”

“You’re just saying hi, not asking him to marry you!” Myranda replied with a roll of her eyes. She licked her lips again, a grin spreading across her face. “I wouldn’t mind saying hi myself!”

“Okay, no. No no no, nope! That is too weird. I would never go to that wedding!” Sansa answered, twisting her face at the thought. Myranda laughed, giving her a wink.

“Fuck the wedding, I’m just there for the bedding sweetheart!”

“Urgh,fine I’ll go and talk to him!” Sansa sighed, glowering at Myranda. “But only to save him from you having your wicked way with him!”

“Hmmm, yeah. It takes a special kind of man to keep up with me,” Myranda relented with a shrug, before her grin spread wider. “But he looks like he could handle it.”

Sansa opened her mouth to voice her disgust when the image flashed in her mind. It struck her so suddenly she felt herself gasp.

The idea of Jon naked and moving above her, eyes dark, mouth panting across her skin. She felt herself unable to stop the fidget as she tried to dismiss the sudden heat between her thighs, tried to duck her head as her cheeks flushed.

“I’m going now!” she said quickly, her voice high-pitched and she was sure her friends were raising her eyebrows. She deliberately kept her head down, her curls falling around her face to shield her from their prying gaze as she stepped out of the booth and made her way towards the pool table.

It was one of Jon’s friends who spotted her coming over, leaning over to say something to Jon, who had his back to her. She saw him take a drink from his bottle of beer before he set it down and turned his head to look over his shoulder at her.

“Hi,” she said awkwardly, stopping at the edge of the pool table and resisting the urge to fold her arms across herself, to play with the hem of her sparkly blue top. Jon turned around fully, picking up his beer bottle again.

“Hello Sansa,” he replied easily, his lips twitching up in that small attempt of a smile he always did.

 “Hi,” she repeated, cursing herself for her lack of interesting conversation.

“Hows things?” Jon asked, taking a sip of his beer though his eyes never left hers. Sansa opened her mouth and closed it again. Did he know about Harry and her? Their disastrous relationship and the messy break-up? She doubted it and she didn’t really want to burden him with such a subject when he was out with his mates for a drink and a good time.

“Good,” she replied lamely. His eyebrows rose slightly, as though doubting her words though he said nothing until she continued. “You?”

“Can’t complain,” he responded easily, setting his beer behind him when his friend passed him the pool cue.

“Want to play?” the man asked Sansa suddenly.

“Oh, um no I better not,” she replied, eyeing the table warily. She had been hopeless at all sports, even bar sports. Once she had only just missed Theon’s head when Arya had convinced her to play darts. He had been standing at the bar, five feet away and in the opposite direction of the dartboard.

“Its easy enough,” Jon responded, jerking his head in a slight ‘come here’ gesture. Sansa bit her lip, glancing back to Myranda and Margaery who were talking but glancing at her every so often.

“if you need to go back to your friends though that is cool too,” Jon said, glimpsing in the direction she was looking in. She turned to him again.

“No, I…I don’t need to go back,” she smiled as she stepped up beside him. She was slightly taller than him in her heels and the thought made her give a slight giggle. Jon rolled his eyes but the small smile remained on his lips.

“Ah Grenn this is an unfair advantage, she’s pissed,” Jon teased and Sansa stopped laughing to level him with a glare.

“I am not. I’ve only had four vodka and lemonades. I’m not a lightweight!”

“No? I remember your school dance that stated otherwise! You were puking all night!”

“Well I was an alcohol virgin back then! I didn’t know about the strength of stuff or the sacred rule of not mixing drinks. I’m much more sensible now!”

“You were always sensible,” Jon retorted, a smile tugging at his lips when she narrowed her eyes on him, looking for the tease about her nature. “I liked that though. The calmness you were able to bring everyone because you could keep a clear head.”

“Oh,” she replied dumbly, feeling her cheeks flush at the compliment. How long had it been since a man had complimented her and meant it? Not as a way of bedding her or to get something out of her, like Harry had always done. He hadn’t even bothered with compliments in the last few months of their relationship.

“When you guys are done flirting, maybe we can get on with the game?” Grenn teased and Sansa flushed harder, glancing at Jon. He was smirking at her but otherwise seemed to not take notice of the teasing of his friends.

“I’m out of his league,” she retorted, wanting to wipe the smirk off his face. However, it just seemed to grow and Sansa felt the breath rush out of her lungs at the way his eyes deliberately dropped down her form, taking it all and then slowly traveled back up to meet her eyes.

“Just as well,” he said. “I wouldn’t want to ruin you Sansa Stark.”

“Right, I think I’m going to get the next round!” Grenn announced. “Pyp, you want to give us a hand or are you going to get involved in a threesome?”

Pyp laughed, following his friend to the bar. Jon leaned back, his butt resting on the edge of the pool table as he twirled the cue between his hands. Sansa could still feel her cheeks flushing, looking anywhere but at him.

Gods, the way he had looked at her. She could feel her body responding, her pulse racing at the thought and the image from before returned to her. But now, she could imagine his eyes as he fucked her, dark and intense as though he could reach inside her and wring out her deepest pleasure with just a look.

_“I wouldn’t want to ruin you Sansa Stark.”_

Right now, she wanted him to ruin her.

“Are you seeing anyone?” she asked suddenly. Jon licked his lips as he regarded her.

“Not really,” he responded. She frowned.

“Is that a yes or a no?”

“Why do you want to know?” he countered, tilting his head in curiosity.

“Friends should know these things, shouldn’t they?” she replied, surprised how easy the word rolled off her tongue. Jon gave an amused huff, eyes narrowing slightly in disbelief.

“Friends,” he echoed, sounding amused. “Are we friends now?”

“Well, I guess we were never close,” she agreed, her arms coming to wrap around herself defensively. “But, I mean, we could be friends.”

“Could we?” he asked, standing up again and stepping up to her until his feet connected with her own. Sansa swallowed as he stared at her, held her gaze for a second before slowly dropping them to her lips. “Could we be friends if I told you what I am thinking about right now?”

_“You know what you need Sans … A hook up with a hot guy!”_

“Honesty is important in a friendship,” she whispered, trying to regain control as she felt herself melting at the look of lust reflected in his eyes. She felt her own eyes drop to his own plump lips. She wondered how his beard would feel against her skin.

“We ready for a game now?” Grenn asked as he approached with the beers. Jon grinned at her, turning to his friend to respond.

“Oh, we’re definitely playing a game.”

Sansa glanced back over to her friends but they were engrossed in conversation, seemingly happy with Sansa and Jon talking. She wondered what they would think or say if she were to go up to them and tell them that she was seriously considering Myranda’s advice and doing it with Jon.

“Come here Sansa,” Jon said gently, extending a hand towards her. He pulled her gently to his side at the table, handing her the cue. His hand came around her back, grasping her hip gently, the other gently pushing her shoulder to get her into position. His breath ghosted against her ear, her breath hitching at the shiver that it elicited through her veins, his words causing her body to thrum with desire.

“Let me show you how it is done.”

***

Her moan was swallowed by Jon’s mouth as he pushed her against the door of her room. Her hands buried into his hair, moaning again at the silky curls that threaded through her fingertips. Jon groaned, hands reaching down and cupping her arse, a silent command and she wrapped a leg around his waist, allowing him to grip the other and place it around his waist.

He was hot and hard against her, she could feel it even through their jeans and she gasped, breaking the kiss to look at him. He was panting against her mouth, one hand gripping her leg, the other braced on the door by her head.

She was never going to hear the end of this from Myranda and Margaery, she knew. She could still see their shocked expressions when she had come over to them and said she had asked Jon to come back to hers.

He pulled at the hem of her top and then he was cupping her arse again, pulling her flush against him as he turned them and edged towards the bed. He placed her down gently, barely letting her catch her breath as he lifted her top up. She sat up, lifting her arms to let him pull it off and toss it aside. His eyes dropped to the black lacy bra, his tongue tracing his lips.

She felt herself flush, unused to such attention and clenched her fingers into his shirt, feeling them tremble as she went for the buttons, undoing them one by one, knuckles scraping the smooth muscle underneath. Jon pulled the shirt off his shoulders, tossing it aside before burying his hand in her hair again, pulling her hard against his mouth.

She felt him unbutton her jeans, hand dipping under the hem to shove them down a little. She could feel him smile into the kiss as his fingers traced the material of her pants, feeling the dampness there.

“I’m on the pill,” she breathed out as she broke the kiss. “But…”

“I have a condom,” he replied, shifting back to stand. He reached into his back pocket, bringing out the foil packet and placing it to her side. Sansa sat up, unbuckling her heels and kicking them to the side as Jon did the same with his shoes, shoving his jeans and boxers down.

Sansa felt her cheeks flush again as his manhood bobbed slightly once free. She wasn’t a virgin, had been with Harry for two years and having sex with him for over a year of that time. But she realised now how very inexperienced she still was. She had never had the confidence to try new things, always too shy to guide Harry into giving her some of her own pleasure when he was moving above her.

Jon hooked his fingers into her jeans again and she lifted her ass from the sheets to allow him to pull them off of her completely. She felt her heart pounding when his knuckles brushed her hips as he hooked his fingers into her underwear, pulling them from her as well.

He crawled back above her, hands reaching for the straps of her bra. She felt her breath catch in her throat as the straps slid against her skin, his fingertips ghosting her side and she moved slightly again, allowing his fingers to glide around and unhook her bra. She closed her eyes as he pulled the cups away, baring her completely to his eyes.

“Oh!” she moaned as his thumbs traced the tops of her breasts and under the fullness of her flesh, brushing so close but never quite touching where she wanted. She tossed her head back, teeth digging into her lip as he stroked across her breast, still deliberately not touching her nipples. She arched up, her fingers digging into the covers.

“You ever came from nipple play?” he whispered, as he cupped the full flesh of her breasts, thumbs edging up around her areolas. Sansa arched again, she withered and keened beneath him, barely able to register his words. She managed to shake her head all the same, trying to get the words out that she didn’t think that was really possible. But then, she hadn’t thought a lot of things possible before now, like the fact she had more or less picked Jon up in the bar tonight and had him here, playing with her tits.

Jon hummed, a small smirk appearing as he started stroking closer to her nipples, the pad barely touching them as he continued rubbing gently at her soft flesh.

“Gods, Jon!” she whined, turning her head into the pillow. “Please!”

“Patience. I’ll take care of you baby,” he murmured, breath ghosting her neck.

“Oh!” she moaned again, gasping as he finally, finally started rolling the pads of his thumb over her sensitive buds.

And then he started to rub her nipples in tight circles simultaneously. His pointer finger suddenly joined, pinching her buds to hard peaks that had her choking on surprised pleasure.

“You like that?” he whispered against her neck and she barely managed a nod, turning her head into the sheets in an attempt to combat the sensations she was going through. Even as her eyes clenched shut from pleasure, she could tell he was smirking triumphantly.

She gasped, body arching against him as he started to give her nipples a light tug, pulling back to watch her reaction. His finger and thumb continued plucking at her left nipple while her right was suddenly encased in the wet heat of his mouth. She keened, bucking up against him and feeling her legs fall open of their own accord as he sucked on the bud. He pulled back, blowing gently on the nipple and then rolling it again between his finger and thumb.

 “I…I thought…” she gasped as he encased her nipple again, giving a long, hard suck. “Jesus!” she whimpered as his tongue flicked against her bud.

“I’m going to make you come like this Sansa,” he said when he pulled off her again, his eyes staring intently at her, a pool of black. She whined in response, panting helplessly. “And then I’m going fuck you with my tongue!”

“Oh gods, I… I don’t…” she started to deny his challenge, to tell him he didn’t need to do _that_. But then he was pinching and rolling her nipples again. And her body was arching, her fingers reaching up to curl against the rails of her headboard, her mouth falling open. It felt different from her usual orgasms, less intense and tight but she could feel it all the same.

Jon pulled back, hands landing by her head as he watched her come down. She blinked, trying to figure out what had just happened.

“I…I didn’t think that was a real thing,” she said, still gasping. He grinned, placing a tender kiss on her lips. She sighed against him, fingers finally uncurling from the headboard.

“I don’t believe I am done with you,” he whispered, slithering down her body with a grin. Sansa’s eyes widened, legs closing automatically as he neared her sex. Jon glanced up at her but made no move to continue his descent.

 “You alright?” he asked, eyes darting as he looked at her face. Sansa nodded a little too quickly and he tilted his head slightly, a silent request for her to continue. It was fine when she was delirious with pleasure, a difference between whispering filthy things in her ear and actually doing them. She was self-conscious of her body in general, but to expose herself so intimately, the thought was making her heart pound, her chest, neck and cheeks flush.

“I just…I’ve never…”

His eyebrows rose as he blurted out. “Nobody has ever gone down on you?”

She blinked at how he sounded almost offended at the thought and she glanced at him to see him frowning.

“I don’t know if I would like it anyway,” she said honestly and he glanced at her with a barely covered snort of disbelief. “I mean…you would…see…it..”

“Your cunt. I would see your cunt,” he said with a shrug and Sansa gasped, shocked at the word and, even more shocked at how her body shivered in response. He grinned. “Or do you prefer pussy? I don’t mind either way.”

“Neither!” she practically screeched, shocked and horrified at the way his filthy words were reducing her to a ridiculous, wanton mess. She gasped as his fingers traced through her folds, his eyes watching her face.

“Hmmm, you sure?” he whispered and she could feel his smirk as her eyes closed against his touch.

His finger traced through her slit gently, spreading her wetness and then settling on her clit, beginning a slow, gentle motion that had her rolling her hips up, begging silently for more. He started circling faster, his breath hitting her neck, telling her that he was watching her intently.

“I can make you cum like this if you want,” he whispered and Sansa shivered, already feeling the stirring in her belly even as she nodded. “But one day, I want to make you scream with just my tongue, have you fall apart while I devour you.”

“Oh, oh…fuuuuuuck,” she cried, hand flying to her mouth in shock at her curse. Jon grinned.

“So much for not ruining you,” he teased, his voice promising more still and she was helpless, bucking and withering into his touch. She gasped as his finger moved down, pushing inside of her and she groaned, hearing her wetness as he moved the digit, biting back another when he pushed a second finger inside.

“Jon, Jon please!” she moaned, her eyes fluttering open to regard him. She reached blindly for the condom, thrusting it into his hands. “Please, fuck me!”

He didn’t say anything, but he removed his fingers and she opened her eyes to watch him open the wrapper. She wetted her lips in anticipation as he rolled it down his length before he moved her leg around his waist.

She gasped at the feel of him at her entrance, probing gently before pushing in with a single movement that had her arching up to meet him. He groaned as he settled his head next to hers, her hands coming up around his shoulders. It had been a while since she had had sex, had stopped sleeping with Harry weeks before they broke up.

Jon started to move, a slow and steady pace. He shifted slightly, moving to raise his head and arch his back, the movement causing him to rub against her clit. Her fingers dug into his shoulders as she panted against his skin. She felt her shyness and awkwardness return as he moved against her. She had never felt like she was doing this right, had just allowed Harry to do what he wanted. For a year of sexual experience, Sansa felt as though she may as well have been a virgin again.

"Don't think," he panted, slowing his hips down and gently tilting her chin so she would look at him. "Don't think about it Sansa, just move naturally."

She bit her lip, eyes darting away from him in embarrassment as he continued to stare intensely, rubbing into her clit over and over. She moaned, feeling her body rise, her back arching to meet him over and over.

"Thats a good girl," he whispered huskily. Sansa moaned, shocked at how those words made her shiver.

“Urrgh, oh god!” she gasped helplessly, vaguely registering that he lasted longer than Harry ever did and still showed no signs of being done.

And her body was responding in ways she never knew could be achieved. She could make herself come with her fingers and vibrator, but she had never orgasmed from anything else, not a cock or a man’s fingers. But she could feel herself approaching the edge, her body beginning to ignite and tremble.

When he had whispered those words – _let me show you how it is done_ – she knew he hadn’t been talking about pool. He was testing her, wanting to know if she was interested. And gods, he was showing her how it was done! If she had known that sex could be this good, that someone else could give her pleasure like this…gods.

She cried out as her climax washed over her, fingers digging harshly into his skin, legs locked around his waist. He groaned against her, hips starting to pound faster into her, jerking, He trembled beneath her fingertips as she came back to herself, her breathing harsh and sweat dripping down her forehead and neck. Jon tensed above her, a guttural moan pushing past his parted lips as he finished into the condom.

He collapsed forward, bracing his weight on his arms to prevent crushing her as he caught his breath. Sansa closed her eyes again, contentment flooding through her from the afterglow of her pleasure.

“Have I killed you?” he teased and she felt him shift off of her. She opened her eyes halfway, watching him dispose of the condom before grabbing his discarded clothes. She frowned, forcing herself to sit up.

“Where are you going?” she asked. He glanced at her over his shoulder, giving a little shrug.

“I thought I should go, you know, avoid the awkwardness,” he replied with a small grin. Sansa rolled her eyes and moved aside, pulling the covers up in silent invitation.

“It won’t be awkward,” she replied sleepily, feeling him slide in beside her and she could feel his boxers were off again. “We’re just two people having some fun.”

“Exactly,” Jon murmured softly behind her. “No strings attached.”


	2. Chapter 2

She hummed softly as she rolled over, her body stretching as she opened her eyes. She frowned, knowing instantly that she was alone in the bed although she still glanced behind her anyway. Sure enough, Jon was not there and when she pressed her hand across the sheet, it was cold. She glanced at her clock, eyes widening at the 9.30am numbers flashing at her. She sat up, listening for any sound in her flat.

Nothing.

“Jon?” she called out, slipping out from under her covers and grabbing her dressing gown from her door. She tied it around herself as she wandered down the hallway towards the kitchen and living room. Jon wasn’t there either she noticed but she did see the letter on the counter.

_Sans,_

_Sorry to leave so abruptly. I’m not great at sleeping at other people's houses or in other people’s beds and I didn’t want to wake you with my tossing and turning. Here is my number though, in case you want to meet up again.._

_Especially if you change your mind about wanting me to fuck you with my tongue - definitely call me in that case! ;)_

_Jon_

Sansa felt her cheeks flush, eyes continually drawn to that second last line. She felt herself rub her thighs together at the mere thought. Gods when he had touched her last night, made her fall apart so easily. She had never felt like that before during sex, had never had a man so determined to wring out every last piece of pleasure, turn her into a withering, moaning puddle with just his fingers and his dirty mouth..

A dirty mouth indeed, she thought as she read the line again.

She sighed, putting the letter down and heading back to her bedroom. She was seriously going to need her vibrator now.

***

“I mean, I didn’t think it was possible,” she hissed, as she dipped another chip in the tomato sauce. “I don’t know how he did it but I was a mess just from him …doing that,” she added, gesturing awkwardly at her breasts before taking another large gulp of water as she felt her cheeks flush. Margaery laughed, shaking her head slightly. Myranda grinned at her, hand resting in her palm as she listened to Sansa talk about her night with Jon.

“I didn’t think it was possible either but good for you,” Margaery said.

“Oh, it definitely is,” Myranda laughed. “What about the actual sex? How was that?”

“Good,” Sansa replied, unable to stop the smile on her face as she thought of the intense orgasm he had given her, how blissful she had felt. “He even wanted to go down on me but I…I refused.”

“Sorry?” Myranda exclaimed with a few exaggerated blinks. Margaery’s eyebrows rose slightly.

“I mean, isn’t it weird?” Sansa asked.

“Weirder than sucking cock?” Myranda returned easily, giving her a pointed look. “I mean, what freaks you out about it?”

“He would see my …my…”

_“Cunt, I would see your cunt.”_

Gods, who would ever think she would like Jon saying that word? She had always hated it but now, now she could feel herself growing wet as she remembered his husky tone, the dark pool of his eyes as he touched her.

“Yes, that would make it easier right enough,” Myranda responded dryly, barely stopping her eyes from rolling. Sansa snapped out of the memory.

“Seriously Sansa, the fact he was so willing to go down on you is great. He clearly knows what he is doing in other aspects!” Margaery added, smirking in the direction of Sansa’s chest.

“But..”

“It is amazing!” Myranda insisted, leaning towards Sansa as she continued. “Get your phone out and text him right now.”

“And say what?” Sansa retorted with a barely controlled laugh of embarrassment. “Hey Jon, fancy eating me out tonight?”

“Well sure,” Myranda responded with a shrug. “You can go the direct route if you want. I personally would go down the teasing sexting route though.”

“What?” Sansa spluttered, hating how her cheeks were on fire yet again. She looked to Margaery for support but her friend was also grinning widely.

“Oh yeah,” Margaery said, licking her lips at the thought. “Send him a picture of you in your underwear or something.”

“And a flirty line,” Myranda added with a wink. Sansa shook her head.

“I can’t do that!” she cried. Her friends both blinked at her.

“Sansa, you picked up a dude in a bar, had a one-night stand and came from nipple play,” Myranda said in a deadpan tone. “I think the point of absurdity and awkwardness is well passed.”

***

This is so stupid, she thought to herself as she leaned back on her bed, trying to get the angle right.

She tried taking photos that included her bra and pants, she tried taking one from behind to show her ass, she tried taking ones with her hand cupping her breast through her bra. In the end, she settled for taking a picture of her hand slipping beneath the flimsy cloth of her underwear. But now, while she was happy that the picture was sexy enough, she didn’t know what she could add as a tagline.

_Fancy coming around for dinner?_

She snorted, rolling her eyes at the line. She put her phone down as she continued trying to think of what to say. It buzzed suddenly beneath her hands and she picked it up, eyes widening as Jon’s name appeared on the screen. She gasped as she realised she had sent the tag and the photo already.

_I bet you’ve got something nice for me to eat._

She flushed, teeth digging into her bottom lip. What the fuck was she doing? What would Robb or Arya say if they found out about this? Jon and her were both consenting adults, she knew that. But still, as she thought about her brother and sister, something was not quite adding up in her mind, she just couldn’t figure out what.

_I am pretty hungry, will dinner be ready soon?_

She took a deep breath as she read his text, licking her lips in anticipation as she quickly text back, her fingers shaking.

_Hurry up before dinner gets cold._

She tossed her phone to the side, rising up to check her appearance in the mirror. She figured there wasn’t really much point in being immaculate. But she had always been particular in her appearance, prided herself on always looking her best. And well, part of her liked the idea of Jon messing her hair up, smudging her lipstick as he kissed her.

All to soon, she heard the buzzer go and she grabbed her dressing gown as she went to the phone to buzz him in. She stepped back, sitting down in the chair by her breakfast counter as she waited, listening to the footsteps approaching.

Jon grinned at her as he came through the door, those eyes taking her in and making her shiver. She fidgeted slightly under his intense gaze as he softly shut the door behind him. She traced her tongue over her lips, eyes lowering as her shyness returned.

“Hi,” she said awkwardly.

“Hey,” he responded easily and she saw his shoes in her vision. She glanced up, breath hitching as he stepped close to her, one hand braced on the counter, the other slowly reaching to twist a strand of her hair before pushing it back behind her ear. She felt her eyes close at the touch.

“I’ve been thinking about you,” he whispered and Sansa opened her eyes, lips parting as he continued to stare at her so intensely. She was burning up inside, desperate and wanting. His hand stroked her cheek, his thumb tracing her lip gently. Sansa moaned, eyes fluttering shut again.

“What have you been thinking about?” she managed to choke out when he removed his thumb and still hadn’t said anything for a few seconds.

“Of how hot you were when I made you cum,” he replied. “How hot it is that sweet, innocent Sansa Stark is turned on by dirty talk.”

“I’m not,” she protested weakly, managing to give him a glare, which only deepened as he grinned at her.

“You were soaking when I mentioned the words cunt and pussy. I felt you beneath my fingers, throbbing and so, so wet.”

She mewled helplessly, shaking her head in determined denial. Jon made a humming noise, a hint of amusement clear in the sound. He cupped her jaw softly before moving to press his lips against hers. His other hand reached to pull the tie of her dressing gown.

“You do like me talking dirty,” he insisted, breath ghosting her lips. Before she could protest he continued. “Which is good, because I want to tell you all the filthy things I want to do to you.”

“I…I…”

“Like how much I want to devour that pretty pussy of yours,” he interrupted, voice low and Sansa gasped.

“Jon!”

“You’re going to be saying that a lot,” he responded cockily before he kissed her again, tongue pushing past her lips. He curled around her, stroking, teasing her as he pulled back and then in again. She reached for him, wrapping her hands around his neck, moaning as his hands delved into her hair, running his fingers through her thick tresses.

“This would be better in the bedroom I think,” he muttered as he pulled back. Sansa nodded absent-mindedly before she realised he was waiting for her to move. She gave an embarrassed laugh as she stood from the stool, leading him through to the bedroom. He shut the door behind him, kicking off his shoes as Sansa turned to look at him.

He curled his hand around her waist and pulled her to him again, mouth covering her own once more. He stepped forward, coaxing her backwards towards the bed. She gasped as her knees hit the edge, sending her tumbling down, her hair falling across the sheets above her head. Jon fell on top of her, hands braced on either side of her head as he pulled back from the kiss.

He moved his hand to her side, fingers skimming the material of her bra in a teasing manner. He smiled as she blinked up at him, waiting for him to make his move. He reared up again, kissing her as his fingers dipped underneath her right bra cup, seeking out and rubbing her nipple.

“Mmm,” she hummed against his lips, gasping as his other hand slid beneath her left cup to give her other nipple the same treatment. She pulled away from the kiss and licked her lips, arching her body as her nipples began to harden. She wondered if he would play with them again enough to have her climax but apparently not since his right hand lifted out of her bra and snaked around to unclasp it.

He smiled down at her as he pulled the clothing away, tossing it blindly behind him. Her eyes widened as she felt his knuckles brush her hip. His grin stretched wider, his eyes were sparkling with mischief and she flushed, right down to her chest as he licked his lips deliberately slowly, a silent promise of what was to come.

He slithered down her body, placing open mouthed kisses along her skin while his fingers returned to blindly pluck at her nipples. Sansa tried to embrace the feeling, tried to focus just on the pleasure he was bringing her. But she was nervous and extremely shy about being so exposed to him. He glanced up at her, hovering just above her navel.

“I told you last time, don’t think!” he murmured, kissing below her belly button. She inhaled sharply, cursing how her heart raced as she felt him slide his hand beneath her knee, lifting her leg up over her shoulder. She averted her eyes to the side, feeling her face grow hot as his other hand gently moved her other leg, exposing her further.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” he whispered, breath ghosting over her flesh. His finger slid across her folds, slowly, teasingly. Sansa felt herself moan even as she frowned in confusion at the touch. Wasn’t he going to use his mouth? As if sensing her thoughts, he moved, ducking his head towards her sex.

She gasped suddenly, fingers digging into the covers as she felt his mouth on her. His tongue slid through her folds slowly, once, twice, three times, teasing her gently. And then he was settling on her clit, flickering his tongue in slow, lazy circles. She raised her head slightly, wanting to see and she ended up groaning helplessly at the view of his dark hair between her thighs. His eyes were closed, a look of pure pleasure on his face as he enclosed his lips around her clit, tongue beginning to move faster.

He moaned as she felt her hips beginning to rise, her breath coming out in pants. She wailed as she felt him push a finger inside of her, fucking her slowly. Her hands flew down to his hair, embarrassment and shyness forgotten as she felt her climax beginning, her stomach clenching, thighs tightening.

“Oh….oh Jon! I …I…!”

He hummed in acknowledgement and pushed another finger inside of her. Her head tilted back, lips parting as she started to fall off the edge, her hands pushing him harder into her, the squelchy sounds of his fingers moving causing her to gasp in shameful arousal, his name falling from her mouth in a repeated prayer.

Jon shifted slightly but instead of pulling away as she thought he seemed to just push his tongue in even harder, faster circles. She cried out, shaking her head as she started to feel herself building up to another climax.

“I..Its too much!” she gasped, eyes clenching shut as she felt him curl his fingers. She felt a gush of liquid spill out of her as she tensed again, fingers all but pulling his hair out with how hard she gripped. Jon groaned, long and deep, finally slowing down and raising his head from her as she collapsed once more. He slid his fingers out, pushing them into his mouth and moaning at the taste. He grinned at her shocked expression and before she could do anything he moved, pressing his mouth to hers.

She frowned at the contact although it wasn’t that bad. She hadn’t been sure what she had been expecting really but she wasn’t disgusted like she thought she would be.

“Consider me converted,” she murmured as he pulled back. “Jon, the saviour of pussies!” Jon laughed.

“Well,” he said, giving her a smug grin. “I  have to agree that I think that went rather well.”

She finally seemed to register the glistening wetness of his lips and the large spot on the bed. She groaned in embarrassment, hands coming up to cover her face as she turned away from him. Jon placed a hand on her shoulder, turning her over and gently pulled at her hands away, smiling softly at her red face.

“Don’t worry,” he assured her gently. “If anything, I take it as a compliment.”

It was still embarrassing. Sansa thought. And in an attempt to take the attention away from her, she nodded her head in the direction of his crotch. “What about you? I could return the favour?”

“Some other time maybe,” he replied easily, moving away. Sansa reached for his hand, feeling the muscle tense beneath her fingertips.

“Well then, how about you fuck me instead?” she asked. He tilted his head, that small half-smile appearing on his lips again.

“Have I not satisfied you enough?” he teased although he did sit back down on the bed. Sansa shrugged.

“Can we be fuck buddies if we don’t fuck?” she reasoned. Jon laughed, shaking his head.

“Can we be fuck buddies if we’re not really buddies?” he countered and Sansa frowned, trying to determine if he was teasing or not.

“Well, we could be if you want. Friends, I mean,” she responded, settling on a neutral response. Jon was silent for a few seconds before he gave her the barest hint of a smile. Still, instead of saying anything, he reached over and cupped her cheek before he was kissing her again.

Her body fell back against the pillows as he deepened the kiss, and Jon moved to lie above her. She moaned, hands running over the material of his shirt before she blindly moved them to the front, fumbling with the buttons as she tried to keep up with the movement of his lips and tongue.

Jon gave a pleased hum and broke the kiss as she pushed his shirt apart, her fingers running appreciatively over his chest. He reared up to his knees slightly, pulling the sleeves to allow the clothing to fall away, tossing it away before he dived down again, fingers running through her hair as she ran her hands over his back. She reached for the button of his jeans, undoing it and pushing her hands under the hem. Jon groaned as she dipped her fingers into his boxers, tracing the shape of his cock.

“Take these off,” she muttered. Jon nodded, rolling away and standing at the edge of the bed in order to push his jeans and boxers down. He reached down quickly, pulling a condom from the back pocket. He climbed back onto the bed, ripping the packet and rolling the condom down his length.

He crawled on top of her and Sansa let him pull her legs around his waist. She whimpered as he pushed into her, his fingers clawing into the sheets while hers reached to grip his shoulders.

“Fuck, you’re so wet,” he groaned, biting his lip as he began to move. Sansa moaned, hearing the sounds herself.

As he began to roll his hips, she began to respond and match his movements. He rested his head in the crook of her neck, his panting breath setting her skin on fire. Sansa could already feel the tell-tale signs of her approaching climax. She wondered how Jon had come to be so good at this, how much he seemed to enjoy it. She had always thought of sex as a chore. And she had never felt pleasure other than from herself, not before Jon. If Jon could learn to enjoy sex, surely, she could too. He just had to show her how good it could be.

"Teach me," she whimpered, fingers scrambling for purchase against his sweaty skin. She could feel his grin against her ear.

"Teach you what?" he whispered, his breath sending shivers through her body. She wound an arm around his neck, angled her head to be able to press her lips to his ear.

"Teach me to be good at this," she panted, hips bucking up to meet him. “Teach me to enjoy it!” she added helplessly. He moaned softly in response as he reared up, a smirk tugging at his lips as he stopped moving and Sansa whined.

“I said that night that I wouldn’t want to ruin you,” he murmured. Sansa opened her mouth but Jon placed a finger against her lips, leaning forward until his forehead rested against hers, her eyes drawn to his automatically. “And I really would ruin you, Sansa.”

“What if I want you to ruin me?” she whispered, swallowing harshly as his pupils dilated. Before she could do anything else, his lips crashed onto hers in a bruising kiss and she moaned, trailing off into a gasp as he started to move his hips in a slow, steady pace.

“I should say no,” he mumbled as he pulled back slightly, eyes fluttering shut as she keened, arching her back to meet him. “I should say no but fuck Sansa, what man could resist that offer?”

She said nothing in response, brain fogging as her body was overcome with pleasure. He groaned in response, his hips moving faster. Sansa opened her eyes halfway, moaning at the sight of his curls sticking to his head, sweat glowing across his skin and his eyes, practically black. She felt herself throb around him, felt her stomach clenching again.

“Uhhh, Jon!” she gasped.

“Mmmm, you feel so good,” he replied, his thrusting becoming erratic as she clenched around him again. She barely managed a whimper in response as she collapsed back on the bed, one hand falling limply to her side as the other traced lazy circles on his shoulder. She felt the muscles tense, felt him push deep inside of her as he finished.

Her fingers traced the muscles of his back absent-mindedly as he tried to catch his breath. She had always hated Harry’s weight on top of her, the way he panted obscenely made her cringe. She wished she had been brave enough to walk away from him but she hadn’t felt like anyone would want her.

“You alright?” he asked after a moment, shifting slightly to look down at her. Sansa blinked, giving him a small smile.

“Yeah, I…I can’t believe sex can be that good,” she replied honestly, a small laugh escaping her. Jon granted her his infamous half-smile as he pulled away from her.

“I never understood why some guys don’t pleasure a woman to be honest,” he said as he disposed of the condom. “I think it is the sexiest thing in the world, being able to please a woman, have her fall apart around you.”

“I bet you’ve pleased many women,” she teased. Jon’s back tensed and he glanced over his shoulder with a small frown. She hurried to speak, scared she had offended him. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t meaning it to sound like you are a playboy or anything!”

“No, I know,” he replied but she could already see him looking around the room for his boxers.

“Jon, you don’t have to go,” she said, sitting up and frowning as he found his boxers and pulled them on, followed by his jeans.

“I really do, I have stuff to sort out for work tomorrow,” he replied, pulling on his shirt. He glanced back at her, giving her a small smile. “And like I said, I can’t sleep in other people’s beds. I honestly would keep you up all night.”

“Well you could do that another way too,” she reasoned, giving him her best flirtatious look. Jon laughed as he buttoned up his shirt, giving her a small shake of his head.

“Now that is something I am very sad to refuse,” he teased as he came over. He pressed his lips to her cheek briefly before he reared back. “But, honestly, I really do have to get stuff done.”

“Okay,” she relented, watching him cross the room to get his shoes. “Maybe we can meet up during the week.”

“Weekends would be better for me really,” he replied, pushing his feet into his converses. Sansa bit her lip.

“I mean, for like coffee or something,” she replied. Jon paused and looked at her over his shoulder again. Sansa inhaled sharply as he turned towards her with a frown and started running a hand through his hair.

“Sansa,” he began slowly, giving a small huff before he continued. “Look, we really shouldn’t blur the lines of what we are doing here alright? This is a no strings thing, we both agree on that, right?”

She remembered Margaery’s words at the bar. How she had said a fuck buddy could work so long as the rules were set from the beginning. And they had agreed that it was no strings attached, hadn’t they? She had said they were just people having some fun and he had agreed, saying no strings attached. And Sansa didn’t want a relationship, she needed to make that clear. But she would feel better sleeping with him if they were better friends who knew something about each other.

“Yeah, I get that. I’m not looking for a relationship,” she replied after a moment. “It is just, I feel weird sleeping with you when I hardly know you at all. All I remember about you is that you and Robb were inseparable, always out together and stuff. That and you teased me relentlessly for the fact I couldn’t handle my drink at my school dance.”

“Robb’s shadow and a tease, that pretty much sums it all up,” he sighed with a roll of his eyes. “Look, Sansa, I really need to go. Have a think about what you want to do and let me know yeah? But I mean it, we don’t blur the lines.”

“Alright, I get it,” she said, forcing herself to give him a small smile of reassurance.

Jon nodded at her slightly before he pulled the door open and made his way down the hall. She heard him shut her front door and sighed, flopping back down on the bed. She ran a hand across her forehead as she tried to think. She didn’t want a relationship, she wanted some fun and a chance to become more confident with sex. Jon was worrying for nothing, she reasoned.

She jumped out of her thoughts as her phone buzzed a few times, indicating a call. She reached over and checked the caller ID before sliding the green button to answer.

“Hey Robb,” she greeted.

“Hey. Are you still coming to Mum and Dad’s next Saturday?”

“Yeah, is it still okay to get a lift up?”

“No, you can walk.”

“Haha, you’re a dick.”

“Love you too,” he responded. “Anyway, I was just checking because Arya was needing a lift too as Gendry has an interview. So, I was going to tell her to come to yours if that’s alright? Your place is easier to get back on to the main road.”

“Yeah, that’s no problem,” Sansa replied.

“Cool,” he said and there was a moment of silence. Sansa raised her eyebrows, waiting.

“Was there anything else?” she asked after a few more seconds.

“You’re … you are alright aren’t you Sans?” he asked. “I hardly hear from you anymore. Harry hasn’t been hassling you has he?”

“No, no I haven’t seen him since we broke up. And he hasn’t been in contact with me for weeks, well, I blocked his number anyway so I wouldn’t know.”

“Alright,” Robb responded. “You will tell me if he bothers you right?”

“I promise,” she replied, barely stopping her smile. “Any man wanting to win my heart has to get big brother Robb’s approval!”

“Hey, I’m the soft one. Wait for them to get Mum’s approval. Or god forbid Arya’s! Thank goodness I told Jeyne to go straight for the topic of her brother’s fencing club!”

“I better go, send me a text when you’re on your way next week,” she said. “I’ll text Arya and tell her to come here.”

“Cool, see you next week Sans.”

She hung up the phone and then sent a quick text to her sister before getting out of bed to grab a towel and her pyjamas and heading for the shower.


	3. Chapter 3

She saw Jon at Tescos on the Friday evening as she went to get some wine and flowers to take home to her parents. She grinned as she went up behind him. He was staring at the back of a video game with a frown, so distracted that he jumped as she bumped her hip into his back.

“Hey,” she greeted. Jon smiled, putting the game back down and turning towards her.

“Alright?” he asked. Sansa grinned.

“Uh-oh, is this blurring the lines?” she teased, moving her basket to her elbow to allow her to make quotation marks with her fingers on the last three words. Jon gave an amused huff, a slight shake of his head.

“Well, I think we can make exceptions for random meetings at the supermarket,” he said as his phone vibrated in his pocket. He picked it up, glancing at it with a slight frown. She gave him a small smile as he glanced back at her.

“Are you needing to get that?” she asked. Jon clutched his phone to him briefly before shoving the still vibrating thing back into his pocket.

“It doesn’t matter,” he replied before he seemed to notice her wine and flowers. “Got exciting plans for the rest of the evening?”

“Oh, no. Still sad and single,” she said with a self-deprecating laugh. “Robb, Arya and I are going home for the weekend tomorrow.”

“Ah,” Jon responded and then gave her a small smile. “I’ll let you get on with your shopping then. See you around.”

“Wait,” she called, squirming as he turned to her with raised eyebrows. Gods, she loved his puzzled look, how endearingly attractive it is. She bit her lip as he waited for her to speak. “Do you have plans tonight?”

“No,” he replied easily with a small shrug. He grinned slightly as her cheeks burned, he walked back up to her, his voice low and husky when he reached her. “Shall we go back to your place?”

She nodded before gesturing to her basket. “Um, I’ll pay for this and then we can…”

“How about I get us a bottle too?” he murmured, patting her hip gently as she turned. “A thank you for keeping me warm on these cold winter nights,” he added in a low whisper, his breath caressing her ear and making her shiver and flush from the bottom of her neck right up to the apple of her cheeks.

“O.. o.. okay,” she stammered, nodding at him before quickly walking to the checkouts, cursing how much he can affect her with such simple words and gestures.

***

She wasn’t really much of a drinker unless she was going out with her friends. But the way Jon was looking at her, that god damn adorable smirk on his face, his eyes dark as he regarded her over the rim of his glass, it had made her gulp her first glass of wine in record time and was almost finished her second.

“Come here,” he stated firmly after a moment, placing his glass on the coffee table and leaning back against the cushions. Sansa swallowed thickly, grasping her own wine glass tightly and, after a quick glance at the liquid she tipped it up to her mouth, drowning it quickly. Jon smirked at her as she gasped, placing the glass on the counter.

She walked towards him, unsure of where she was supposed to go when he was lying across her whole sofa. His grin widened as he watched her approach and pause at the side of the couch. His right hand rose and tapped his lap twice.

“Here,” he whispered. Sansa blushed, barely able to say anything before he has curled his fingers around her wrist and pulled her down. Her hands braced against his chest to steady her as she shifted her body.

“What…?” she began but Jon placed a finger against her lips to silence her.

“Kiss me,” he murmured and she blinked. He leaned back against the cushions again, eyebrows raising expectantly as Sansa continued to stare at him. His fingers traced her hips, she could feel the warmth even through her dress. “Kiss me Sansa. You want to be taught about sex? Start with showing your desires.”

“But…” she started, eyes darting away from his face, searching anywhere in the room to focus on while she gathers her thoughts. “But…women shouldn’t be so forward!”

“Why?” Jon countered with a frown. Sansa felt her own forehead crease in confusion. She felt his hand trace up to stroke her neck, the touch causing her to arch, a pleasured gasp escaping her as he brushed the sensitive spot by her ear. “I like a woman who knows what she wants, what she needs.”

“Jon,” she whimpered, feeling her body respond with heat and wetness even at such a simple touch.

“What do you need Sansa?” he whispered, his hand moving so his thumb is able to trace the shape of her lips. Sansa’s eyes fluttered shut, her breath hitting the warm pad of his thumb as she caved.

“You,” she moaned.

“Show me then,” he murmured.

She moved, pressing her lips to his and desperately trying to ignore the insistent heat in her cheeks. Jon moaned, allowing her to lead this particular dance although his hands traveled up to her hair, running through her curls with increased pressure as the kiss deepened.

Her fingers fumbled with the buttons of his shirt and she broke the kiss with an annoyed huff and a look of contempt at the garment. Jon chuckled, the vibrations travelling up through her fingers that lay against his chest, making her ache once more.

“Don’t worry,” he assured her, taking her hand again and guiding her fingers to his buttons. “You know what is a good thing to do if you’re nervous?”

“What?” she asked breathlessly, desperate and curious to improve, to know how to eventually ensure pleasure from this all the time, from whoever her future partners may be.

“Distract them,” he said with a mischievous grin before he pulled her into another kiss. “Touch them, kiss them wherever you can reach. They’ll get all worked up themselves, they won’t notice you being nervous.”

“Were you nervous with me?” she asked, unable to believe such a thing given how thoroughly sated he had left her both times.

“Terrified,” he chuckled.

“Why?” she prompted, sitting back, using what he had just told her against him by keeping her out of reach from his lips and hands. He frowned slightly, no doubt realising her game.

“Because you’re Sansa Stark,” he said simply after a moment, giving her a small shrug. She frowned, giving him a confused shake of her head. “I’ve never wanted to hurt you.”

“Why would you hurt me?” she said in confusion before he reared up, the hand in her hair pulling her down to his lips. She knows what he is doing and before his hand drops to squeeze her breast, she had the intention of breaking the kiss and continuing to press him.

But his hand Is grasping her breast, squeezing through her clothes, his other hand travelling under the hem and grasping her the bare skin of her stomach, sending a surge of heat and desire coursing through her. Her brain goes blank, lost to the feel of his touches, the way he bites her lips playfully, before pushing his tongue past her lips to meet hers.

“I want you to ride me,” he growled as he broke the kiss. “I want to watch your lovely tits bounce while you fuck yourself on my cock.”

“Gods, Jon!” she mewled, panting helplessly at the gorgeous, filthy words he speaks. Her knickers were absolutely ruined, she vaguely managed to think as she felt another surge of wetness rush from her core. Her hips moved unconsciously, grinding against his crotch, the hand in her hair dropping down to her arse, pushing her gently, encouraging her shamefully desperate rocking.

“I think you would love that too,” he continued, the hand beneath her dress pushing under her tights, seeking out her cunt. Sansa shivered as his fingers trace her over her underwear, knowing he can feel the dampness there. Sure enough, she catches his smirk. “Look at this. You are soaking wet for me.”

“I thought that was a good thing?” she replied in confusion, moaning as she felt his arousal respond to her movements. She felt restless, desperate for release and a slave to her body’s instincts as it continued to rut against him, her eyes fluttering shut at the sensation as his fingers move underneath her underwear to play with her clit.

“You were always such a good girl Sansa,” he murmured huskily, biting her ear and Sansa gasped, trembling against the heat of his breath, the scorching touch she can feel through her dress from the hand still palming her arse and the way his fingers rub at her clit in such a delicious, torturous way. The words make her shiver too, her wide, lust-blown eyes flying open to meet his smirk once more.

“Jon!” she groaned, her thighs beginning to squeeze around his hips.

“That’s it,” he cooed, hand pressing against her arse to move her harder against him, his fingers rubbing harder. She whimpered as her body tensed, fingers grasping desperately at his shirt as her back arched with her release.

Jon’s hands moved, both hands curling into the hem of her dress and pulling upwards, his knuckles brushing against the cheeks of her arse that her underwear was unable to cover. He groaned at the feel, letting her dress lie at her tailbone as he gave her cheeks a couple of firm squeezes. Sansa shivered, her boneless body powerless as he continued to touch her.

“Sit up,” he demanded although his tone with still soft. Sansa pushed herself back into a sitting position, raising her arms as Jon pulled at her dress again, tossing it to the side once she was free of it. He hummed appreciatively as his eyes leveled with her lacy blue bra. He smirked up at her face before he gently pushed her back until she was lying against the cushions, he between her parted thighs. He reached up and squeezed her mounds through the sheer material of her bra cups.

“That’s a pretty colour,” he mused aloud after a moment before his lips started to trace from her collarbone towards the curve of her breasts. “A very pretty blue colour, just like your eyes.”

“Thank you,” she murmured in confusion at the compliment.

“You should use your eyes,” he said, glancing up to gauge her reaction. Sansa blinked at him.

“Use my eyes?” she questioned. He hummed in agreement, lips ghosting across her flesh.

“You have those innocent big blue eyes,” he explained. “Use them in bed.”

“How?” she asked, moaning as his fingers ducked under the cups of her bra to pinch her nipples.

“Watch as a man touches you, look at him when you touch him. Your eyes can be just as arousing as these,” he whispered, giving her breasts a quick squeeze before his right hand pulls away, reaching to touch place his palm against her quivering sex. He grinned and she knew he could feel her response to his simple touch, even through her tights and underwear. “And this.”

She closed her eyes and swallowed thickly, gathering her courage as she prepared to use his lesson. She felt his hand pull at the waistband of her tights and she parted her legs slightly to allow him to pull them from her, leaving her in just her pants and bra. When she felt his hands skim to her back to unclasp her bra, felt his hands return to cup her flesh, she opened her eyes, meeting his heated gaze and slowly licked her lips.

“Fuck,” he muttered, giving her nipple a sharp pinch that had her gasping, arching up for more. “You learn fast.”

“That is a pity,” she replied with another pleased wine as he moved to take her right nipple into he mouth. He hummed in interest, making Sansa mewl, her legs parting of their own accord as her body begins to desperately seek fulfillment.

“Why is it a pity?” he prompted as he kissed along to her other breast. Sansa frowned, taking a second to remember what she had been saying.

“Because, I think it will be fun learning and if I’m a quick learner then this will be over sooner than I would like,” she explained. Jon paused, a small huff escaping him. She glanced at him, seeing a slight frown on his face before he shook his head and returned to his ministrations.

His hand moved down again to hook into her pants and pulling them to her knees. He grinned at her as he paused to stroke her legs, from her knees to the apex of her thighs before reaching to finally remove the garment from her, tossing it aside like he had down her dress. She watched as he undid his belt, shoving his jeans and boxers down enough to free his cock.

She felt wetness surge through her as she realised he wasn’t going to even undress fully. He was already rolling a condom down his length. Sansa had never had sex like this. So animal-like, desperate, passionate. The dirtiness of it made her shiver with need and desire.

“I thought you wanted me to ride you,” she teased, her laugh trailing into a low moan as he pushed into her.

“Who said you won’t be?” he quipped as he settled.

He moved back onto his heels, pulling her hips against him, showing her how to move as he began to shallowly thrust into her. She watched as his eyes dropped to his cock as he moved, the pupils blown so wide as he sees himself fill her over and over. Her hands had fallen above her head but she lifted them, reaching for wherever she can reach but the angle is awkward, she can’t reach anywhere but his arms, tight with the grip he has on her hips.

He moved suddenly, as if sensing her need to touch him, and moved his hands to the back of her knees, pushing her legs up to her chest, his own body moving to hover over her as he started to move again.

She groaned at the change of angle, her muscles fluttering at the new feeling of him filling her. Her hands grip his shirt by his side, her forehead dipping to rest against his shoulder as she bucks up against him. Over his shoulder, she can see her feet, her toes twitching as he hits that spot inside of her that makes her quiver and arch and beg.

“Oh, oh gods, oh gods!” she cried, eyes clenching shut as he started to thrust harder, lips tracing her neck, teeth giving her playful nips as she begins to rise to her peak. He murmured against her ear, biting with each filthy word, his grin caressing her lobe as she mewls and tightens in response of his praise.

“Yes, cum for me Sansa,” Jon growled as she tensed, nails clamping into his skin even through his shirt. He kept thrusting, his pace hard and fast and she wondered if he was going to make her cum again. She could already feel her belly begin to stir. Jon panted harshly, his teeth digging hard into his lips as he met her eyes. She lowered her lids a little, giving him a coy look as she remembered what he had said about using her eyes. He growled again, eyes clenching shut as he moved his body, pining her like a desperate animal holds their mate as he plunged harder into her. Sansa gasped, shocked at how the dominant undertone of such a move made her loins ache, made her entire body quiver. She felt his grin again as he felt her clench around him.

“Like that do you?” he whispered huskily. “Like me dominating you?”

She could barely respond, breathless moans pushing past her lips as he fucked her once again towards her climax. She could feel him shuddering, the soft whimpers he made as he neared his end were starting to fall continuously from his lips.

“Maybe next time ….urgh..I’ll …mmm ... I'll tie you up and….nrrrgn… fuck you.”

“Yes!” she cried out, her whole body trembling with the force of her orgasm, the image of Jon spreading her out on his bed and having his way with her making her flush and mewl helplessly. Jon tensed above her, a harsh growl escaping him as he finished in the condom and his body collapsed slightly.

“Fuck,” he moaned between pants. Sansa chuckled.

“Yeah,” she agreed breathlessly. “That was….amazing.”

“It was,” he said, rising up and pushing his sweaty curls away from his forehead. He grinned down at her, his fingers stroking her hip once more and Sansa shivered, knowing he was about to initiate another round.

“If we’re about to do what I think we are,” she stated, pointing her foot at his shirt as she continued. “I think you better get rid of that or you are going to be a sweaty mess when you go home!”

***

“Urgh, oh…oh my…oh my god” she moaned frantically, pushing her hips in desperate circles as she moved upon him, descending on his cock again and again and again.

Jon moaned back, his half-lidded eyes watching her tits, just like he had said he would. Even now, with sweat glistening across his forehead, his fingers sliding against her hips as he tried to keep a grasp and guide her, he is still more composed than she is.

Sansa is a mess for lack of a better description. Her hair is tussled from how much she has tossed it in response to the intense sensations she is going through. Her whole body is covered with sweat from her desperate movements and she can’t stop the breathless moans that break past her lips.

His arms move, curling around her back and her shoulder, pushing her harshly against him. Her own hands grasp his hair hard, curling tighter when he moved his head to take her nipple into his mouth. She keened, vaguely aware of her chanting ‘please, please, please’ over and over and over. Jon hummed, his hand moving from her hip, across her stomach and down to her clit.

“Fuuuuuuuck!” she gasped as she clamped around him, her thighs shaking from the force and she found herself biting his shoulder to stop the wails that are falling continuously from her panting mouth. Jon shuddered, his harsh exhale ghosting across her neck as he holds her hard against him, bucked up and spilled into the condom.

“Oh my god,” she muttered weakly, attempting to sit up and falling flat against him again. He gave a breathless laugh at her pliant body, shifting slightly beneath her.

“Lets get you to bed,” he whispered gently, lifting her off of him and rising to get rid of the condom.

“Again?” she stated with wide eyes. Jon was amazing and she was gloriously sated but even with how good it was, she didn’t think she could go another round without actually passing out.

“As tempting as that would be, I meant actually put you to bed, to sleep,” he replied with a grin and a shake of his head at her words. Sansa merely hummed, feeling her eyes drift shut. She felt Jon’s arms underneath her, lifting her up but she couldn’t remember him taking her through to her bedroom or tucking her in.

***

She was awoken to the sound of her buzzer going continuously. Her eyes were struggling to open as she raised her head, stifling a yawn as she glanced at her phone. It started ringing almost as soon as her eyes fell upon it, Arya’s name lighting up the screen.

“What the fuck?” her sister greeted. “It is pouring out here Sansa! Where are you?”

“I…I slept in!” Sansa replied, cursing in her mind as she grabbed her dressing gown and shoved her arms in. “I’m coming to the door now.”

“Robb will be here in twenty minutes!”

“Shit!” Sansa muttered, moving her phone away from her face so her sister wouldn’t here the curse, and therefore couldn’t tease her relentlessly for it.

She pressed the button to allow Arya into the building, unhooking the chain and pulling the door open a little. She turned then, with the intention of running through to her room and grabbing her clothes for a shower. And Jesus, she hadn’t even packed!

But then she noticed the living room and kitchen. Jon’s unfinished glass of wine on the coffee table, her own empty glass and the bottle of wine on the kitchen counter. And, most embarrassing of all, was her clothes. Her dress was hanging off the armchair, her knickers on the floor by the television and her tights in a heap by the sofa. She had barely managed to run and grab her tights and knickers, shoving them into the pocket of her dressing gown when Arya entered the flat.

Her sister paused in the doorway, hand braced against it as she glanced around the room. And of course, _of course_ , her sister would look straight at the dress that Sansa hadn’t managed to grab, the two glasses. Sansa felt her cheeks heat up as a smirk spread across her sister’s face.

“Slept in, huh?” Arya said as she shut the door, leaning back against it and raising her eyebrows at her sister.

“It…it wasn’t…” Sansa started, her blush spreading across her whole face. “We’re just friends.”

_Well, no, not even that really. What exactly would their arrangement be called if they barely knew each other?_

“Hey, I’m not judging!” Arya replied, raising her hands before she wrinkled her nose. “Well, not for a hook up. I am judging you for not showering yet though.”

“I swear, I won’t be long!” Sansa promised before she turned to her room. She paused when Arya cleared her throat, turning to see her sister holding her dress out towards her and the other hand on her hip as she stared at her sister in exasperation.

“You might want to take that with you,” she said patiently. “If Robb saw it he would probably have a heart attack.”

_Oh boy wait until he finds out I am banging his best friend from university. He would drop dead without a heart attack!_

***

“Honestly,” Robb sighed, his fingers drumming on the wheel as Sansa and Arya bundled into his car. “I need to start giving you girls an extra ten minutes every time we need to meet. I swear girl time is a separate dimension!”

Arya stuck her tongue out at him as she shut the passenger’s side door and slipped on her seat belt.

“Sansa’s fault.”

“Hey!”

“I believe that,” Robb quipped, grinning at her in the mirror before he started to drive the car out of the space and set off down the road.

They settled into a conversation about the latest episode of The Crown. And then Arya and Robb had their usual debate about what to listen to, causing Sansa to smile to herself as they argued and playfully insulted each other’s music taste.

It was when they were about thirty minutes from home when the conversation changed to discuss how plans for their father’s surprise fiftieth birthday party was going. And it was when she had asked about the guest list and Arya and Robb had listed them off. She listened, a frown appearing as they listed the Baratheons, even Stannis, who her father merely tolerated. And then the Tullys including Aunt Lysa, who barely kept in contact but mother had insisted they were all family and she should be there. And then when Robb said Theon was travelling back for it, to surprise Ned who had always regarded Theon as another son that the words blurted past her lips.

“What about Jon?” she asked. “Will he be coming?”

Arya and Robb looked at each other. Her sister bit her lip and turned to look out of the window with an exaggerated clearing of her throat. Robb’s face hardened as he met her eyes in the mirror.

“He isn’t welcome.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this opens with a memory of Sansa's high school dance when she got drunk. Nothing really happens between her and Jon per say but ...meh I wanted to write it :p

_She stumbled through the door, clinging dramatically to the door as it opened faster than her drunken brain had anticipated. She cursed under her breath as she tried to compose herself and stepped in to the hallway._

_She had text her parents early on, telling them not to wait up and that she would get a lift home from Margaery’s brother, Willas. Her mother had text back saying she hoped she had enjoyed the dance and they would see her in the morning. But now, she realised it was almost one in the morning and she could hear someone in the kitchen. She unclasped her heels, preparing for the lecture from her parents when she heard the door open._

_But it was Jon’s face who appeared in the crack of the door that he had opened. He gave her an amused smirk, clearly being able to tell how drunk she was as she stumbled towards the stairs._

_“What do we have here?” he asked teasingly, folding his arms as he regarded her. “Sansa Stark is absolutely trashed.”_

_“Fuck off!”_

_“Shit, you must be drunk if you’re swearing!” he laughed. Sansa felt the giggles and she had to cover her mouth to stop the sound echoing around the house and waking everyone up., covering her mouth. Suddenly, she felt as though everything was moving too fast again and she fell against the wall by the stairs. Jon appeared in her vision, hands encircling her waist._

_“Careful now,” he whispered, straightening her again. She mumbled her thanks and then, much to her annoyance, she felt tears coming to her eyes as she remembered why she had embraced the drink so much tonight._

_“He didn’t even look at me,” she sniffed. Jon frowned, guiding her to the living room and sitting her down on the sofa._

_“Who?”_

_“Daemon.”_

_“Oh, him,” Jon muttered. “Hang on, I’m going to get you some water.”_

_“I am so stupid for thinking he would notice me,” she moaned as she took the glass from him, taking a huge gulp. “Stuff doesn’t happen like in movies!”_

_“No, I’m afraid they don’t,” Jon agreed, giving her a sympathetic smile. “But I bet a lot of other boys noticed you. Perhaps you should ask one of them out. You can do better than Daemon anyway.”_

_“Urgh, Margaery said the same thing,” she sighed. “I wish I was like you sometimes.”_

_“Me?”_

_“Yeah, like you just bounce back from every break up and you seem to pick up women all the time!”_

_“Are you telling me you’re bisexual or something?” Jon asked with a confused frown. Sansa snorted._

_“No, I’m straight,” she replied. “I just mean, I wish I had the confidence of moving on, not getting caught up in romance all the time. I think it would save a lot of heartache if I was more like you.”_

_“It is funny because I always wished I could be like you,” Jon sighed, running a hand through his hair. I wish I could believe in love as easily as you do, I always liked that about you, your unwavering belief in good things.”_

_“You don’t believe in it?” she asked in shock. Jon shrugged._

_“I wouldn’t say there is no such thing because clearly people do believe in it and make something work, like your parents,” he said. “I just wish that I could see myself being like that but I just don’t know if I could.”_

_“Why?”_

_“Because what if they leave,” he replied and then he bit his lip, as though he realised he had said too much. He glanced dramatically at the clock, clearing his throat as he stood._

_“You should really get to bed if you want to get a fighting chance against the hangover you are bound to have tomorrow.”_

_Sansa stood too, instantly feeling dizzy. Jon grasped her waist gently, guiding her towards the staircase._

_“I feel awful,” Sansa whined as he helped her up the stairs. Jon chuckled as they padded softly down the corridor to her room._

_“Wait until the morning,” he replied humorously as he held the door open to her room. “I’ll bring some water up.”_

_Sansa nodded, going to her drawers and taking out a pair of Beauty and the Beast pyjamas, one with Belle on the top and the enchanted rose pattern on the bottoms. She stumbled to her bed but as soon as she laid her head down, she felt her stomach churning, her head pounding. Jon opened the door with a couple of bottles of water in his hand when she sat up, covering her mouth._

_“I’m going to be sick!” she muttered, racing for the bathroom that adjoined her and Arya’s rooms. Jon followed her, kneeling behind her as she clutched the bowl. She shuddered, gulping continuously as her body prepared for the inevitable._

_And then the first wave of sickness hit and once it was done, she groaned, hating the burn in her throat as she sat back.  She took a few deep breathes, her stomach still churning as Jon rubbed her back._

_“We’ve all been there,” he said soothingly. “Get it all out Sansa, you’ll feel better after.”_

_It took another two waves before she felt as though it was done. She wiped her mouth, letting out a long breath. Jon unscrewed the top from a bottle of water he had brought through with him and passed it to her. She took a long gulp, rinsing the horrid taste of her mouth and spitting into the bowl._

_“I’m so sorry you had to see that,” she mumbled, running a hand over her sweaty forehead. Jon chuckled._

_“I’ve seen worse, you should have seen Robb the first time he got drunk. He didn’t even make it to the toilet.”_

_She managed a weak laugh, still feeling a horrible, smelly and sweaty mess. She took a proper sip of the water this time before she reached and flushed the toilet. Jon helped her to stand, guiding her to the sink where she went to get her toothbrush and toothpaste._

_“Besides,” Jon said after a moment and she glanced at him in the mirror, seeing him smirking at her with his arms folded. “It is nice to know you aren’t perfect after all.”_

_“Still too good for you,” she teased, flushing when she caught his raised eyebrows in the mirror. She cleared her throat._

_“Don’t tell Robb I was drunk, or Arya, please!”_

_“I won’t,” he promised. “It will be our little secret.”_

_She smiled at him in the mirror as she finished brushing her teeth and then Jon made sure she was fine, putting the water bottles on her side table so she could reach them. He made for the door, whispering to her that she had best take a few sips of water before going to sleep._

_“Jon?” she questioned sitting up slightly. He turned to look at her. “Why are you here?”_

_“Sorry?” he asked, brows furrowing._

_“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that,” she corrected. “I just meant, I thought you were going to your Dad’s for the summer.”_

_“I…something came up,” he replied softly, looking away from her._

_“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said, although she had no idea what Rhaegar Targaryen had done. He had obviously upset Jon again in some way though. Jon spent more time here than he ever did with his biological family.  Jon merely shrugged, turning to leave her room again._

***

For a brief second, all Sansa could do was blink dumbly.

Now that she thought back though, he had never once asked her how Robb and Arya were, hadn’t mentioned even seeing them or talking to them since he came back to Glasgow. And when she had mentioned coming home, Jon hadn’t asked anything about them or the party either.

“What the hell happened?” she blurted, staring at Arya as her sister shifted slightly, still looking determinedly out of the window. Robb was silent for a moment, fingers clenching on the steering wheel. Sansa glanced between them both nervously. “I mean, Jon…he…he never seemed the type to harm anyone…not purposely.”

“Well I guess the short version is, Robb and Jon got into an argument at the flat. I was still living there and tried to intervene before they killed each other. Things got heated, Jon stormed off and we haven’t seen him since,” Arya explained, finally turning in her seat to look at Sansa. Sansa frowned.

“But what on earth did you argue about?”

Robb shifted in his seat, Arya looked out of the window again as she chewed on her lip.

“So, you know about his Dad, right?” Robb eventually asked, meeting her eyes in the mirror. Sansa nodded briefly.

“I know Rhaegar raised him after his mum died,” Sansa replied. “Jon didn’t seem particularly fond of his father though, from what I could tell.”

“No, he wasn’t. Rhaegar Targaryen is quite the playboy,” Arya continued, looking at her sister again. “He declares his love for a new woman almost weekly and he can get a woman to fall in love with him seemingly like that.”

She snapped her fingers for effect and then rolled her eyes. Sansa could practically hear her thoughts of scorn towards what Arya would deem silly, fawning women. Sansa frowned again, questions still burning through her mind.

“So Jon grew up with a lot of women coming in and out of his life, a _lot_ of women. And after his mum dying, what he really needed was stability. If he couldn’t have a mother figure, he should have at least had a dad who was interested in him rather than chasing skirt,” Arya continued with a long sigh. “And when he grew up, Jon messed around a lot in his teenage years and early twenties. I think his longest relationship was two months, and even then, I don’t even know if it counts when they hardly did anything but shag all the time.”

“I made excuses for him before,” Robb sighed. “I guess it never really mattered that much to me, not when we first became friends anyway. We were young and if he was happy living that way then it wasn’t my place to stop him. It wasn’t my business really, what he did and with who so long as everyone involved was fine with it.”

“So, what is the problem?” Sansa asked slowly, frowning in confusion of it all. “I don’t see how that would cause you guys to fall out now.” Robb shook his head.

“It just sets up the scene you know? Because Jon then got involved with one of Jeyne’s closest friends, Ygritte. Remember her from the wedding?”

“Vaguely,” Sansa replied, a rough image of a redheaded girl coming to her mind. She remembered her sitting with Jon most of the night, the pair of them laughing together. He had seemed quite happy when she looked back.

“Jeyne and I had a really big argument about Jon getting involved with Ygritte,” Robb continued. “Ygritte is one of her oldest and closest friends you know. And I defended him, I _fucking_ defended him!” Robb growled, slapping the steering wheel in his anger. Sansa’s eyes widened at the display.

“I think we all thought Ygritte could be the one to change him,” Arya said. “He seemed actually happy to spend time with her, it definitely seemed more than just a casual hook up. So, we actually believed that this time he had found someone and everything was great. And then he broke it off just days after the wedding.”

“He just ran off, like he always does,” Robb added. “Of course, Jeyne was so angry about it all and I don’t blame her. I felt so stupid defending him before. I mean, I thought Jeyne was going to refuse to go on the honeymoon, the argument had been that bad.”

“Jesus,” Sansa muttered. She ran a hand over her forehead as she tried to take all the information in.

“I told him he was an idiot, that he shouldn’t be fucking everything that moves because he was going to end up sad and alone if he continued. Told him I was done defending him when he is screwing around with my wife’s friends and breaking their hearts. It is like people who abuse drugs to cope, he has been using sex to cope with his issues and it had gotten out of control.”

“Anyway,” Arya continued. “When I got home, Robb and Jon were in this massive argument. Jon basically told Robb that he and Jeyne were probably going to split up anyway, that Robb was stupid to get married in the first place because people will always leave in the end and at least he wasn’t pretending otherwise. Robb obviously took offense, told Jon he was a sad, desperate excuse of a man who couldn’t control himself.”

“And Jon said he could control himself just fine when he wanted to,” Robb added with another scoff. “I told him to give me an example of when he hadn’t fucked a girl who just happened to look at him and he just shrugged with that goddamn smirk on his face.”

“I told Jon he should be a man and apologise to the women he has hurt. And especially Jeyne for her having to cope with Ygritte’s heartbreak as well,” Arya said. “And well, Jon was all riled up from the argument and said we were both just delusional if we thought our relationships were going to last because people always let each other down.”

“I don’t know if he thinks he is being a good person or not,” Robb sighed as they came out of Dundee city and were only the final stretch of road towards home. “Maybe he thought he was trying to save us pain down the road because he honestly believes relationships don’t work. Or maybe he really is just a dick. I would hope it is the former, even if it is fucked up.”

“I told him to fuck off,” Arya continued. “I didn’t mean it literally, it was just an angry response to what he said, you know. And well, next thing he was storming through the flat throwing shit in a suitcase and then he just left. Went to his dad’s I guess, or his Aunt’s. I tried to call him, I text him saying I didn’t mean it and I knew he hadn’t meant it either. I said I wanted him to get help and would support him with that. He never got back to me so, we just lost contact. He obviously came back to the flat for stuff when I was at my lectures but I haven’t seen him since then.”

“Holy shit,” Sansa breathed, leaning back in her seat with a heavy sigh.

“Anyway, Mum has apparently made steak pie,” Arya said cheerfully, looking at her phone. “And she says we better get there soon because Rickon is still hungry after his share.”

***

She knew she had to tell Jon that she knew about what had happened. She just didn’t know what was the best way to say it. And, she wanted to know if he was sorry about what he had said, if he really didn’t care about what Robb and Arya were doing with their lives. Because, although she remembered Jon declaring he never really believed in relationships and romantic love, he had always said he believed in familial love. And Robb and Arya, all of the Starks had been family to him in a way.

Her fingers hovered over the button to call as she lay on her bed. She could text him, she supposed. But then, he might not reply for a while, might not reply at all and then she would be no closer to getting her answers. She took a deep breath, pressing the call button and pressing it to her ear.

“Phone sex at your parent’s house? You are just full of surprises Stark!”

“I…no!” Sansa replied, rolling her eyes as she pictured him grinning on the other end.

“I’m messing with you,” he assured her. “But what is it? Want to arrange another meeting?”

Sansa frowned. If she said no right away, he would probably feed her the whole ‘we’re blurring the lines’ thing. And she would never get her answers. But if she said yes, he would basically be done with the conversation and she still wouldn’t be any the wiser. She took a deep breath, deciding to just dive right in.

“Arya and Robb told me you weren’t invited to Dad’s surprise birthday party.”

Jon was silent on the other end for what felt like forever. And then he cleared his throat. “What exactly did they say?”

“Told me you have serious commitment issues, which I kind of knew with what we are doing, I’m not bothered about that,” she replied. “I just…okay firstly, when this arrangement ends you will have the decency to actually tell me right? You have enough respect for me to do that don’t you?”

“Yes of course. I told you I never wanted to hurt you. But it wasn’t…what did they say?” Jon asked again and the harshness of his words caused Sansa to blink.

“Um…Arya told me the last time she seen you she had told you to fuck off because you basically told her and Robb that they were idiots to be in relationships. Or something to that effect. And it apparently all escalated after you dumped Ygritte for apparently no reason which caused Robb to get mad and.”

“I didn’t,” he replied coldly.

“Sorry?”

“I didn’t dump her for no reason,” he responded, gentler this time. “I actually didn’t want to end things with her. I wasn’t in love with her or anything but I…I thought we could have been more.”

“Oh…oh shit,” Sansa said, sitting up. “Why didn’t you tell Robb that it wasn’t all your fault?”

“Because I wasn’t thinking straight when Robb confronted me and we were just rising to each other’s words. I didn’t have the chance to say anything to him before it escalated like it did. Look, I really don’t want to talk about Ygritte. I just wanted to say that it wasn’t as simple as it was made out.”

“Okay, so why didn’t you tell me you haven’t spoken to my brother and sister in almost three years then?” she countered.

He sighed on the other end and she waited for him to gather his thoughts.

“I didn’t intentionally keep it from you,” he said after a moment. “It just never seemed the right time. I mean, it is hardly something to say post orgasm is it?”

“Jon, stop it,” she snapped, hating how he was changing the subject already. “Can’t your blurring the lines bullshit stop for just one damn second. Don’t you think this is serious? This is Robb and Arya we’re talking about here! I thought they were practically family to you. Didn’t you ever want to make up with them?”

“Of course I did,” he sighed, taking another moment to comment further. “I just…I was ashamed about what I said to them. I didn’t want to even think about how I had acted towards them. It is too late now anyway, and even if it wasn’t I think any progress we could make will be sent right back to the start when they find out I’m fucking you.”

“Well, maybe you should reach out to them. I’d start with Arya because she seemed a bit more remorseful about it all than Robb.”

“Yeah sure,” Jon said in a tone that told her he had no such intentions of talking to her family. “So, how is Ned coping being middle aged anyway?”

“Um, he is at the pub just now watching the game.”

“Or drinking to the memory of his youth,” Jon quipped.

“You’re one to talk, how old are you now? You must be nearing thirty. Your life is practically over now!” she replied with a dramatic whistle. Jon chuckled on the other end.

“Less of that lip missy,” he said teasingly. And then, with a low voice that made her whole body quiver he continued. “I might have to punish you for your cheek next time I see you.”

She wondered briefly if she is a terrible person for how those words can affect her, even now. She can just tell he is smirking on the other end as her breath hitched and she feels the warmth flood her face.

“Seriously Jon!” she hissed, glancing at the door. She hadn’t heard footsteps in the hall at all, which told her that all her family were still downstairs. Still, she wasn’t about to have phone sex at her parents’ house!

“Hey, it isn’t my fault that you’re such a bad girl,” he purred and Sansa clenched her eyes shut.

“Stop it!” she said but it sounded weak even to her own ears especially when her whole body felt hot and was all but trembling from the words. Jon hummed.

“Wear your blue underwear again next time,” he continued huskily. “I like that pair.”

“Jon I…” she knows she is on the last point of her restraint. She so desperately wants to hear what he planned to do to her. The thought of him making up with Robb and Arya is fast leaving her mind as Jon continued.

“I’m going to bend you over and spank your pert little arse red until you promise to be a good girl!”

She squeaked, feeling herself grow wet as she imagined herself at his mercy. She pressed the end call button in her panic, her chest heaving with shaky breaths as she realised how desperately she wanted him to do such a thing.

_Are you wet thinking about it?_

She groaned, contemplating switching her phone off to avoid his torturous words. But she is so worked up now from the images he has allowed her to form in her mind. She is desperate for relief and she told herself it is just that desperation that made her pick up her phone and reply.

_Yes._

She was a terribly, wanton person, she thought, for how much she needed him to continue this game.

_Mmmm, you should do something about that._

She bit her lip, eyes darting once more to her door and then back at the text. Her fingers hovered over the buttons as she thought about her reply. She can feel herself, wet and throbbing and she took a shaky breath as she replied.

_Who says I’m not?_

_You’re typing too fast to have a hand on your cunt for a start._

She flushed, reminded of how inexperienced in all this she was. She huffed, feeling tears sting her eyes for how she stupidly thought she was getting better at this whole thing.

_I’m only teasing Sansa_

She sighed, turning her head away. Her eyes look at the posters she had put up as a teenager, her favourite boybands and actors she had been obsessed with in her younger years. She flushed at the reminder that this was her childhood bedroom, in her parents’ house and she was engaging in sexting. Sure, pretty shit sexting on her part but it still counted. She may have touched herself in her room before but that was different, she wasn’t thinking about anyone in particular, wasn’t letting someone say such thoroughly filthy things and whisper commands of what he would do to her.

_Let me tell you how I’ll make it up to you next time._

She barely had time to blink before his next text came through.

_I’d start by kissing down your neck to your tits. Have I mentioned I love your tits?_

She snorted, sending him a quick reply.

_Probably, once or twice._

_Then I’ll push your bra down so I can touch them, squeeze them and roll your nipples under my fingers. Gods, the sounds you make when I play with them Sansa. I think I could get you doing whatever I wanted if I teased them enough._

_What would you want me to do?_

_Now that is a dangerous question. There is little I wouldn’t do to you if I got the chance Sansa._

She whimpered, the hand not holding the phone drifted down to the end of her top and then underneath the material. She let it lie on her stomach for a second as she collected her courage and then she let it travel up, up, up.

She pulled the cup of her bra down, moaning softly when her fingers brush her nipple as she does so. She placed the phone down as it buzzed again and used both hands to pull her dress over her head. If she was going to do this, she may as well go all out, she thought as she pulled her tights down and kicked them off her feet.

_You’ve gone awfully quiet. Are you doing what I think you are?_

She paused as she lay back down on the bed. While she was no stranger to touching herself, even here in her old bedroom, she had never sexted before. She felt completely out of her depth, especially when she knew Jon had so much experience.

_Are you touching yourself?_

She bit her lip, a small part of her thrumming with excitement at the thrill of doing something so deliciously naughty. At least with sexts, she could delete them and nobody need ever know. Nobody would hear her talking on the phone either.

_Not yet. But I’m thinking about it._

_Mmm, if I continue telling you what I would do to you, will you be a good girl and do it to yourself?_

She flushed, imagining all the things he would say and do to her. But she can feel the desire coursing through her and she needs him to give it to her.

_Yes._

His reply is almost instant.

_I’d pinch your nipples until you’re panting with need_

She put her mobile down, her fingers shaking as she pulled down the cups of her bra and let her thumbs brush across the sensitive skin and then over to her nipples. She moaned softly as she rolled her thumbs over the buds, using her finger to pinch them into hardness.

_And then I’d stoke a hand down your body teasingly. Make you beg for it to be on your cunt._

She let her hand drift down her stomach and then rest on top of her underwear. Her cunt throbbed through the material of her pants. She took a deep breath, letting her fingers dip beneath the waistband and run through her curls.

_You better not be playing with your pussy yet!_

She groaned, loving how commanding he could be even in writing. She closed her eyes, imagining him sitting and watching her. She felt a wicked thrill as she let her fingers run over her lips, and up her slit to settle on her clit at last. She felt a wicked grin come to her as she took a photo of her hand beneath her underwear and sent it to him.

_What are you going to do about it?_

She started rubbing her clit harder, her hips rising up to meet her fingers as her phone buzzed again.

_The threat of a spanking not enough to deter you?_

_Perhaps you want to be spanked, filthy girl._

“Oh god,” Sansa moaned, her eyes drifting shut and she could see Jon smirking at her. In her mind, he flipped her over and cupped her arse teasingly, running his fingers across her cheeks. And then she imagined him pulling his hand back and slapping it against her flesh. She mewled, feeling herself grow wetter as she pushed a finger of her other hand inside of her.

_Well if a spanking won’t stop you I guess I’ll have to make good on my promise to tie you up so you keep your naughty fingers to yourself._

She felt herself clench around her finger at the thought, gasping helplessly at how much she wants him to do such things to her.

_I’ll make you beg Sansa._

Gods, wasn’t she already? The last thought before her mind goes blissfully blank and her body tensed with her release. She flopped back into the covers, her chest heaving and her cheeks flushing with what she had just done. She picked her phone up, her fingers shaking with her reply.

_I’m free tomorrow night._

Her phone buzzed a second later.

_Have some scarves ready for me! ;)_


	5. Chapter 5

_"Who is it this time?"_

_Sansa paused outside the kitchen door at the sound of Jon's voice and bit her lip. She didn't want to go in when he was clearly on the phone and from his tone, quite annoyed._

_But her head was pounding and her stomach rumbling, desperate to replenish what she had thrown up last night. Her cheeks felt hot at the memory._

_"I don't really give a fuck how nice she is, I'm not coming down there!"_

_Sansa pushed the door open gently, giving him an apologetic smile when his eyes cut to her. He was leaning against the counter top, one hand grasping the edge of the surface so hard his knuckles were white. The other was holding his phone to his ear as he listened to whoever was on the other end. He had been glaring at the wall but his features softened slightly and he gave a small smile when he saw her._

_"I have new plans now anyways so... yes I do! I'm going on holiday with Robb and Theon."_

_Sansa reached into the cupboard to get her favourite Bambi mug when she felt Jon's finger gently poke her hip._

_"Dany just drop it alright. I don’t want to see him!" he sighed as he reached behind him and opened the fridge door. He passed her a small bottle of Irn Bru his lips twitching with a barely contained smirk._

_"Thank you," she mouthed, unscrewing the cap and taking a large gulp. He gave her a genuine smile but within a second he was frowning again._

_"Fine, yes I'll text him!" he said as he ran a hand through his hair. "I need to go. Tell Aegon and Rhaenys that I am sorry I couldn’t catch up with them. Bye!"_

_He exhaled slowly as he lowered his phone, placing it next to him as he looked at her again. She gave him a tentative smile as she lowered the bottle._

_"I didn’t mean to intrude," she insisted but Jon shook his head, folding his arms across his chest._

_"Don't worry about it. It wasn't anything important."_

_Sansa remained silent. She knew it had been about his dad but Jon clearly didn't want to talk about it. She couldn’t imagine not loving her own father, not having a relationship with him. She picked up the bottle and tilted it towards him, wanting to change the subject._

_"Thank you for this," she said. Jon smiled again._

_"No problem. It is a guaranteed hangover cure after all. How are you feeling anyway? Want some toast?"_

_"Yeah, please! I am starving!"_

_"Your mum was going to wake you earlier," he commented as he took a couple of slices of wholemeal bread and placed them in the toaster, shoving the lever down. "I told her you came in late and I kept you up with talking so she should let you sleep a little longer."_

_"Thank you, Jon," she replied. The mention of her mother made her realise how quiet it was and she leaned over the counter to look down the corridor. "Where is everyone?"_

_"Arya, Bran and Rickon are swimming, your mum is out shopping and your dad is out in the garden."_

_"Ah," she responded as the toast popped up. "Wait, where is Robb then?"_

_She should have realised that it was strange before now. Jon and Robb were like two peas in a pod, rarely was one without the other._

_"Um, he didn't want to say anything," Jon started, placing the plate of toast on the table in front of her. "But he is on a date."_

_"What? With who? What is she like?"_

_"I dunno, some girl from Uni that he met at a party. I think he said she is Irish."_

_"That is good enough for me. He can marry her for that alone!" Sansa teased. Jon made a noncommittal sound as he turned and flicked the kettle on._

_Sansa jumped as his phone buzzed, thundering against the amicable silence that had settled between them. She watched as he glanced at it before making an annoyed sound, shoving the device across the counter before reaching behind the kettle to get the jar of coffee._

_"Daemon left me a text this morning," she said as Jon poured the water into his mug. He gave her a brief glance as he set the kettle back and slowly started stirring his coffee._

_"What did he want?" he asked eventually, tossing the spoon into the sink and leaning back against the counter._

_"Um, he wanted to apologise for being an ass."_

_"Did he indeed?" Jon replied, blowing into his mug and not looking at her._

_"Maybe I should hear him out and..."_

_"Sansa," he sighed. "Guys like Daemon, they only want one thing from a girl like you."_

_"A girl like me?" she echoed frowning at him as he turned to face her. Jon swallowed a mouthful of coffee and pursed his lips._

_"Innocent girls," he stated and then seeing her confusion he cleared his throat. "He just wants to brag about taking your virginity."_

_"Isn’t that what you want?" she asked. Jon spat his coffee back into his mug, coughing several times. She frowned. "Are you alright?"_

_"Yeah," he coughed and cleared his throat, his cheeks slightly pink from the ordeal. "What the…what on earth was that supposed to mean, Sansa?"_

_"From your girls," she elaborated, setting her chin in her hand as she looked at him. He grunted, eyes focused on his coffee again._

_“Its…its complicated,” he muttered eventually, still not looking at her. “I don’t brag about my sex life or anything. I just…a relationship isn’t for me. Not right now anyway. I wouldn’t go for someone impressionable or innocent because I don’t actually want to deliberately break hearts. It is just easier to be honest from the start.”_

_“I know I’m stupid with relationships,” Sansa mumbled, frowning down at the table. Jon sighed, finally looking at her as he moved to sit in front of her. “But I didn’t want to…do that…yet… I mean, we hadn’t really been dating so I didn’t want to …you know?. But, now I am thinking, would it have been so bad …to just do it? Maybe if I just…”_

_“Sansa,” he interrupted her gently, running a hand through his hair as he huffed out another breath. “You are a romantic and I know you don’t really believe that you would be happy giving your virginity to Daemon. Your first time should be with someone you love because that is who you are. Some girls don’t care and that is fine if they want to have sex that way. But I know you don’t. And a guy like Daemon, he would spread the word around the school and stuff, he is that kind of guy. You deserve better than that.”_

_“I never seem to be attracted to the nice guys,” she sighed, trailing a finger along the edge of the table. “I’m going to end up sad and alone aren’t I?”_

_“Some guys grow out of that stuff,” Jon replied with a shrug. “It just isn’t the right time for you to be with someone like that, that’s all. I doubt you’ll be single for long once you go to university.”_

_“I’m scared I’ll be so bad at it,” she said, feeling her cheeks flush at the fact she was talking openly about sex with her brother’s best friend. Jon was silent, a frown between his eyes as he kept them on the table. She noticed curiously, that his cheeks were still a light pink._

_“Nobody is bad at it,” Jon responded eventually after another sip of coffee. “They just need a partner willing to learn with them.”_

_“Right well first I guess I need to find someone who is willing to have sex with me,” she teased. Jon licked his lips as he stared into his mug._

_“I doubt that will be the difficult part Sansa,” he replied after a moment, turning to wash his mug in the sink. She grinned as she stood up and without thinking, she wrapped her arms around his waist, nudging her head into his back. He tensed, his breath shaking as he exhaled._

_“Thanks Jon, for being so nice.”_

_“No problem,” he mumbled as she withdrew and headed upstairs for a shower._

***

“Morning,” Sansa greeted as she came into the kitchen, accepting her mother’s kiss on the forehead as she reached up into the cupboard for a mug. Arya grunted a greeting around her toast, a hand on her chin and her hair all over the place.

“Bran and Rickon not up yet?” Sansa asked as she flicked the kettle on.

“Rickon is still in bed. Bran went to the shop to get orange juice and milk as we only have a little left.”

“Morning Sansa,” Ned said happily as he came into the kitchen with his own mug, Robb close behind. Sansa smiled, repeating the greeting. Ned turned to her mother. “That is the shed all fixed now love.”

“Good,” Catelyn replied. “Now, who wants bacon and who wants sausage?”

“Bacon,” Robb and Arya answered at the same time as Sansa and Ned said “sausage.”

“Well, we’ve always known having five kids was never going to be simple. Gosh, sometimes we even had seven when you include how often Jon and Theon were here!” Catelyn said with a chuckle as she opened the fridge to get the meat out. She handed Sansa the milk at the same time, waiting for her to finish pouring it into her cup before putting it back in. “Do you ever hear from Jon these days, Robb? Is he home now?”

“Nah, he is still in Cardiff,” Robb said quickly, taking a seat at the table.

Arya took another bite of her toast, eyes trained on the paper in front of her. Sansa glanced between them all and then to her dad who looked quite disappointed at the news. He had liked Jon when he had come around, had taken him in as another son. Part of her wanted to blurt out that Jon was in Glasgow, wanted to tell her dad that Jon had been asking for him.

But she knew she couldn’t blurt something like that out and land Robb and Arya into an awkward situation. Plus, she was slightly afraid that if she brought Jon up, Robb and Arya might tell her parents exactly why they fell out with him. And she didn’t want her parents to judge Jon and think less of him. Deep down, Sansa knew that Jon was hurt about what happened with Robb and Arya and she believed him when he said he regretted what had happened. Perhaps someday she would be able to help all three of them reconnect.

“Could someone go and rouse Rickon from his bed please?” Catelyn asked as they heard the front door open, signalling Bran’s return. Robb nodded, patting Bran’s shoulder as he passed him in the hallway.

“What time is Robb heading back down the road?” Sansa asked Arya as her sister reached for the orange juice carton Bran had just placed on the table. Arya shrugged, getting up to retrieve a glass and Sansa sighed. “I’ll need to be back in Glasgow by six.”

“I thought you said that you didn’t have plans and were off tomorrow as well,” Arya replied, returning to the table and casting a curious glance at her sister. Sansa felt her cheeks heat up and Arya grinned. “Oooh, are you seeing that guy again?”

“What guy?” Ned asked, taking a seat next to Arya and staring at Sansa as she squirmed.

“No, I mean, it isn’t like that!” she insisted, groaning as Robb entered the room with Rickon behind him, stifling a yawn.

“Isn’t like what?” Robb asked.

“Sansa is seeing someone and won’t tell us anything about him,” Arya replied, her eyes sparkling with mischief. Sansa rolled her eyes.

“I’m not seeing anyone, not really. We’re just friends!” she sighed, downing the rest of her tea in an effort to distract from the interrogation.

“Right, leave your sister alone!” Catelyn said firmly, waving the tongs at each of her children as she gave them a stern look.

Bran raised his hands in a gesture of innocence, his eyebrows raised as if to remind everyone that he hadn’t gotten involved. Rickon muttered something about being gross as he took a piece of toast from the rack on the dining table. Thankfully, Arya just lowered her eyes back to the paper and let the subject go.

“So anyway,” Sansa stated, moving to place her finished cup in the sink. “Robb, what time are you going to head back to Glasgow? I’d like to be home by six.”

“Alright, we’ll head around three then. Should be back in Glasgow before five.”

“Thanks,” Sansa beamed as she took out her phone and sent Jon a text to say when she would be home.

“It is always so sad when you all leave again,” Catelyn sighed sadly.

“We’re less than two hours drive away, not dead,” Arya replied.

“I know,” her mother said with a smile. “I just miss having all you kids running around and causing havoc. I even miss your dirty laundry scattered all across the house. I just miss you all.”

Ned chuckled, leaning over to grab a newspaper from the pile on the table. “Don’t be getting any ideas love. Even if you are still able to, I think five children is quite enough!”

“Gross,” Rickon commented, glaring at his father over the top of his glass.

***

She traced a finger over her lips as her nervousness began to sink in. She was turned on thinking about it, there was no point in denying that when she had already used her vibrator the moment she got through the door.

Now, she was fidgeting on the sofa, eyes darting to the clock as her foot tapped repeatedly on the floor. She had Netflix on in the background but she hadn’t really been paying attention to the show she had selected. She had seen it before anyway, she just needed the background noise to distract her.

She jumped as the buzzer went, a nervous breath escaping her. She ran a hand through her hair, tugging lightly on the end of her braid as she pressed the button and slid the chain off the door. She stepped back as Jon entered, giving her a grin as he pushed it shut behind him.

“So,” he grinned and Sansa shivered at the deep tone of his voice. He stepped up to her, hand stroking down her arm. “Have you been a good girl today?”

Sansa flushed at the sudden wetness she felt and she barely managed a nod. Jon’s eyebrows rose even as he tugged her hand to bring her closer to him.

“Well, I still think you should be punished for your cheek yesterday, what do you think?”

“Yes,” she gasped before she could stop herself. Jon grinned, turning her gently and giving her arse a playful tap.

“Bedroom,” he whispered, swatting her again. She nodded, tugging on his hand to bring him through with her. She let go once she entered the room, turning to him as he shut the door. He whipped his shirt off, tossing it to the side and Sansa lifted the hem of her dress and pulled it over her head. She felt Jon’s arms around her waist, fingers dipping tentatively beneath the waistband of her knickers.

“Pants on or off?” he asked gently. Sansa shivered, giving a lazy shrug. “Maybe we’ll leave them on for your first time. Bend over your bed for me.”

Sansa moved backwards, letting her knees hit the mattress. She took a deep breath as she turned her body, bracing her hands in front of her and her feet apart on the floor. She could feel him staring and the thought sent a rush of heat to her cheeks and wetness to her core.

She jerked at the feel of his hand as it gently stroked her flesh. She groaned softly as he kneaded and stroked her cheeks before he withdrew again. She gasped as his palm hit her right cheek, gentler that she had expected but enough to leave the skin tingling. He repeated the act on her left cheek. Sansa arched, burrowing her head into her covers as his hand came down over and over.

“Oooh!” she moaned as his finger dipped into her underwear and glided against her cunt.

“Fuck, you’re soaking Sansa!” Jon groaned and she grinned as she felt his jeans against her arse, the hardness of him resting teasingly against her.

“I want…” she started, eyes darting to the scarves she had placed on her pillow. She saw Jon reach for them, the soft pat on her hip telling her to move.

She crawled across the bed, laying down and raising her hands submissively. Jon grinned, moving to straddle her and grasped her hands gently, wrapping a scarf around each wrist and the pulling the ends to tie her to the headboard. Sansa licked her lips, a contented sigh escaping as Jon kissed down her face.

“Gods you’re so sexy,” he muttered against her earlobe, giving it a playful bite. Sansa moaned, her body arching up. Her fingers dug into the scarves, tugging gently.

“Jon,” she whined as he kissed down her neck, his hands stroking up her sides.

“Yes?” he asked teasingly, suckling on her collarbone.

“Don’t leave a mark!” she gasped, even as she shuddered. He moaned in acceptance, pressing a small kiss to the point he had been working on before he started kissing down towards her breasts.

“What do you want?” he whispered, licking over the shape of her right breast. Sansa whined, her eyes clenched shut at the sensation of his beard scratching her skin while his tongue worked. He reached behind her, unclasping her bra and tossing the clothing blindly to the side. He leaned back down and pressed a kiss to the side of her nipple, not quite touching close enough to her sensitive buds. She felt his mouth twitch, his grin growing when she tugged impatiently on her binds. “What do you want Sansa?”

“Your mouth,” she groaned, her eyes cracking open to watch him at her bosom.

“Where?” he murmured, beard scratching the skin between her breasts as he trailed kisses along between them. Sansa squirmed.

“On…on my…” she started, her cheeks flushing as he glanced up at her. She bit her lip, eyes fluttering closed as she fought her nervousness. “My tits.”

Jon groaned as his fingers reached for her nipples, rubbing and pinching them into hardness. Sansa gasped, followed by a long moan as she felt her right bud suddenly wrapped in the wet heat of Jon’s mouth. He moaned as he suckled at her, his fingers still pinching her other sensitive bud. Sansa whined, pulling hard on the scarves that held her. Jon pulled away, blowing gently on her peak before descending again, teeth scraping lightly against her.

“Urgh, gods!” Sansa moaned, pushing her body up to meet his mouth. Jon hummed, pulling away and kissing a path to her other breast.

“What else do you want Sansa?” he asked before he took her left nipple into his mouth.

She squirmed, desperate for more. She wanted him to touch her everywhere, wanted to touch herself. She tugged on her binds again, pouting innocently when Jon glanced up at her as he sucked on her nipple. He pulled back.

“You alright?” he asked gently. She nodded, arching her hips to rub against him.

“Please,” she whimpered. Jon smirked, his hand tracing the shape of her breast before slowly stroking down. He pulled at the waistband of her underwear, knuckles ghosting down her skin as he pulled the clothing away.

“Spread your legs for me sweetheart,” he murmured, his dark eyes trained on her face. Sansa felt herself flush but did as she was bid, turning her face away in embarrassment. She felt Jon’s breath at her ear, a shudder running through her as he bit at her lobe again. “Don’t be embarrassed. If it helps, I think about you like this far too much. I don’t think a day goes by since we started this that I am not imagining your cunt.”

“Jon!”

She felt him smirk as his fingers traced up her slit. Sansa moaned, feeling her legs spread wider as his fingers started rubbing her clit gently. He hummed, moving back to look down upon her, his eyes drawn to her lips as she dug her teeth into them.

“Gods, please! Please!” she mewled.

“Told you I would make you beg,” Jon quipped, moving his fingers and quickly replacing them with his thumb. He slid down through her folds and gently probed her entrance before pushing his first finger into her. Sansa tossed her head back, hips canting up to meet the digit.

“More!” she whined, looking at him with half-lidded eyes. Jon groaned, his head dipping to the side to watch his hand’s movements as he pushed his middle finger into her. Sansa shook her head, fingers curling into the binds. “I want your mouth!”

“Well, I can’t deny a lady what she wants,” Jon teased.

She closed her eyes as she felt his breath on her core, the slide of tongue through her folds. She moaned as she felt his hands at the apex of her thighs, pushing them further apart as he pressed himself harder against her, lips closing around her clit.

“God,” she whined desperately tugging at her binds, her ankles digging into his shoulders to keep him there as he licked at her nub. He dipped his finger down once more, pushing two inside of her and gently thrusting them.

Her eyes opened slightly, staring up at the ceiling in an attempt to ground herself as she felt herself rising towards her climax. Jon groaned in acknowledgement as her hips pushed up to meet him, his fingers started pumping faster, curling to hit a spot that had her mewling in pleasure.

“Jon!” she groaned, her eyes clenching shut as her thighs tightened around his head, her arms pulling on the scarves as she came. Jon pulled back from her clit, smirking up at her as he continued to pump his fingers inside of her. Sansa turned her head, burrowing against her arm as she panted helplessly against his continued assault.

“You are so fucking sexy!” Jon moaned turning her head to kiss her as she gasped and shook with her second climax.

“Oh my god,” she mumbled as he finally pulled away from her. She hummed as he reached to untie the scarves and she turned to look at him as he rubbed her wrists.

“You alright?” he asked. She nodded, licking her lips and grinning as Jon’s eyes followed the movement. She moved quickly, pressing her lips to his and pushing him down on the bed, her hand fumbling with the button of his jeans.

“I want to ride you again!” she mumbled against his lips, slipping her hand underneath his jeans and into his underwear to grasp him. He groaned, eyes closing as she moved her hand.

“Come here then,” he muttered, grasping her hips and pulling her to straddle him.

His hands bumped with hers as they simultaneously pulled the waistband of his jeans and boxers down. He kicked them off his ankles, quickly reaching into his pocket and pulled out the condom wrapper. Sansa kissed him hard, her shaking fingers taking the foil from his hand. Jon raised his eyebrows at her as she tore the wrapper. She felt her cheeks flush as she attempted to put it on him. She had never done this for Harry and now she was shaking with nerves and cursing under her breath. Jon clasped her hands gently, taking the condom from her.

“Don’t worry,” he whispered, rolling it down his length. He grinned. “I’m more than willing to help you practice with this too.”

She felt her lips twitch despite herself and Jon leaned up to kiss her, one hand in her hair and the other on her hip, pulling her back to his lap. He held his length for her as she aligned herself, a groan escaping them both as she descended.

“Fuck,” Jon muttered, fingers digging into her hips. She pressed her hands against his chest as she started to move.

She moaned, moving her hands to the railings as she increased her speed, pushing her hips down on him over and over. Jon grunted beneath her, his head dipping to trace kisses up her stomach to her breasts, lips closing over her nipple.

“Oh god,” she muttered a hand leaving the headboard and fisting into his hair, holding him tight against her breast. Jon moaned, hands sliding down to her ass and pushing her down harder. Sansa’s head tipped back as she felt the slow stir of her approaching orgasm. Jon growled as she began tightening around him.

“Sansa,” he muttered, slumping back down on the pillows with his eyes clenched shut. She grasped his shoulders for purchase as her body tensed, her back arching and a long wail passing her lips as she came. Jon reared up, flipping them over and moving steadily inside of her, his pelvis bumping against her clit in a way that had her gasping and gripping him again.

“Je…uhh…Jesus!” she cried out, shaking beneath him. “I…I…”

“One more time,” Jon mumbled, his hand clutching the pillow by her head as he moved faster and harder, panting against her shoulder, her neck. Sansa mewled helplessly as she felt another release wash over her as Jon tensed above her.

“Holy…holy shit!” Sansa groaned, a hand flopping above her head as she tried to regain her breath. Jon exhaled a small chuckle as he pushed off of her and rolled to the side, his own chest heaving and an arm resting above his head.

“That was…” Jon began, running a hand over his face. “Fuck that was amazing.”

“Yeah?” Sansa asked, unable to stop the pride flowing through her. Jon glanced at her, a small smile tugging his lips.

“You’re a quick learner,” he teased.

“Or I have a good teacher,” she replied. Jon gave a playful shrug.

He gave a sigh, rolling to the edge of the bed. She watched sleepily as he went around the room to regain his clothes, throwing them on. He turned as he pulled his shirt on and Sansa gave him a tentative smile.

“I’ll see you around then,” he said, giving her a small smile as he headed for the door. Sansa nodded, even as he left and she flopped back onto the pillows with a sleepy sigh.


	6. Chapter 6

Sansa hummed away to herself as she closed the door behind her and placed her shopping on the counter. She crossed over to the kettle, filling it from the tap as she continued singing away to herself.

“Don't think we ever really got it right, got it right. Both you and I have always kept it bottled up inside.”

She shook her head to herself as she flicked the kettle on, reaching to get her favourite mug, shaped like the Beast from Beauty and the Beast.  She tossed a teabag inside, reaching to take her phone from her bag.

_Coming out tonight?_

She bit on her lip at the text Margaery had sent. It had been a while since she had seen her, in fact, despite the constant texts and messages, she hadn’t seen Myranda or Margaery since the night she first hooked up with Jon almost two weeks ago.

Thinking of Jon, she opened up facebook and clicked on his profile. It was a great photo, greyscale with him staring broodily out to the side. And despite being dressed in skinny jeans and a dress shirt, looking at the photo one could tell he had a hot body beneath that. Or perhaps that was just because Sansa had seen it, felt his strong arms holding her tight against him as he encouraged her to ride him, had ran her hands all over the muscles of his back as he pinned her down and pounded her into the mattress.

“Fuck,” she muttered, feeling herself grow wet at the thought of his naked body. She shook her head, turning back to the kettle as it flipped off. She poured the water into her cup before resuming her facebook snooping.

His latest update had been taken a couple of hours ago. She recognised the other boy, Grenn, from the night at the bar. But on Jon’s other side was a blonde, busty woman, pressed tight to his side, a hand on his chest and Sansa could feel her eyes narrowing, moving her phone closer to her face as though she would be able to suddenly find more answers. There was a tag line underneath.

_Reunited!_

She frowned at the word. Who was reunited? Had all three of them known each other? Had Jon and this girl had something before? She set the phone down, grabbing a spoon from the drawer and fishing the teabag out and onto the dish by the side. She shouldn’t be jealous, she knew. She and Jon had agreed it was just sex and they were openly using each other. But still, he could have had the decency to say he was fucking someone else at the same time. If for nothing else, then for her own sexual health. She knew Jon always used a condom with her and assumed he would do likewise with any other woman he hooked up with.

That wasn’t the point though, was it?

She sighed as she grabbed the milk from the fridge, her free hand coming up to stroke her temple. What _was_ the problem? She and Jon weren’t together, they were barely friends either. He was obviously being careful, she couldn’t see why he would wear a condom with her and not anyone else. The only thing it could be was something that made Sansa feel slightly sick.

She wanted him all to herself.

***

“Wowza!” Myranda cried as Sansa slid into the taxi.

She grinned at the matching wide-eyed, slack-jawed looks on Margaery and Myranda’s faces. Sansa always took pride in her appearance, perfecting her make-up and always having a perfectly matching, flattering outfit. Still, rarely did she pull out all the stops to flaunt her body but tonight, she was feeling petty.

She was wearing her tightest, bright blue body con dress, the fit accentuating the curves of her hips and ass, the hem stopping mid-thigh to allow her to show-off her long legs, helped by the black heels she had on her feet. And the push-up bra she had on underneath had made sure the shape of her breasts were highlighted, impossible to miss.

Either Jon would drop the other girl and come back to hers, or she would find another interested guy. It was a win-win in her eyes. She didn’t need Jon. Not one bit.

“So, on the pull?” Margaery asked after the shock had worn off. Sansa shrugged, pressing her clutch closer to her.

“Something like that.”

“Jon not any good?” Myranda commented, sighing dramatically. “That is disappointing.”

“Jon was amazing in bed,” Sansa replied truthfully. “But, we aren’t exclusive.”

She couldn’t help but be disappointed that Jon wasn’t at the bar. She had wanted to see his reaction to her outfit, wanted to see how he reacted to the other men that were ogling her. It was petty, she knew, but Myranda had always said it was the twenty first century so Sansa felt she had just as much right to go looking for a hook-up as Jon did.

Yet as she scanned across the floor, half-listening to Margaery and Myranda’s discussion about Outlander, she didn’t feel anything, not even the slightest bit of attraction. She sighed and it must have been louder than she intended as her friends stopped their conversation and glanced at her.

“Send him a text,” Myranda stated after a moment, barely resisting rolling her eyes.

“No,” Sansa replied even as she frowned at her phone.

If she had never seen that stupid facebook post, she wouldn’t have gotten so irrationally jealous and this wouldn’t be happening. She would be able to speak with Jon, would be able to invite him around and subsequently have her brains fucked out with deliciously, spine-tingling orgasm after orgasm.

But the image of that woman wouldn’t leave her mind and all she could think was that Jon was probably with that blonde and fucking _her_ brains out, making _her_ fall apart under his tongue. She knew nothing would ever come from her and Jon’s arrangement and that had been fine, even if she was attracted to him and had amazing sex, he wasn’t boyfriend material and she knew that. Still, it raised her insecurities once more. All the times Harry had seemed so bored came flashing back through her mind and she couldn’t help feel bitter that Jon would get bored as well, and so quickly.

“No need,” Margaery piped up beside her, giving Sansa a not-so-subtle nudge that almost sent her flying from the booth. Sansa followed the path Margaery’s head was tilted in and sure enough, there was Jon and his friend Grenn but no sign of the woman.  Sansa watched as they made their way to the bar, Jon grinning at something Grenn was saying in his ear.

“And it is your round Stark,” Myranda commented brightly, picking up her glass and drowning it, giving Sansa a smirk as she set it down. Sansa glared at the unsubtle gesture but moved to stand regardless.

She moved to the far end of the bar, deliberately staying far away from where Jon stood. She kept her eyes firmly on the optics in front of her, smiling at the bartender as he sidled up to her.

“Three vodka lemonades please,” she said brightly.

She fiddled with her purse to get the ten pound note out, pushing her hair subconsciously behind her ear as she looked up to watch him pour the drinks. She jumped at the sudden hand on the small of her back, turning her head to look straight into Jon’s sparkling eyes.

“Well hello there,” he greeted, his eyes slowly dropping down her form, his free arm resting along the bar as he placed his beer in front of her. She shifted slightly, turning her head to look back at the barman as he placed the three drinks in front of her. She could feel his frown as she continued to keep her gaze ahead of her. “Sansa?”

“What?” she snapped, thrusting the change the barman had just given her more forcefully then intended into her purse. “Are you after a threesome or something?”

“ _What_?” he spluttered, blinking repeatedly and frowning deeply as he watched her place her purse under her arm and attempt to pick up the glasses. He moved to take one and Sansa glared.

“I can manage,” she insisted, pushing them close together and spreading her fingers wide to grasp all three in her grip.

“Well, I’ll just follow you there then,” he replied, straightening up as she turned. She tutted and made her way back to the table. And right enough, Jon was trailing behind her.

“Hello,” Myranda greeted as they reached the table. She thrust her hand out to Jon. “I’m Myranda.”

“Jon,” he said, taking her hand but his eyes remained fixed on Sansa as she pushed the drinks to her friends and then sat back down. Margaery reached across Sansa to give Jon her hand as she introduced herself.

“Sansa, can we talk?” Jon asked, sliding his hands in his pockets.

“About what?” she asked, leaning back against the cushioned seat and folding her arms as she regarded him.

“Well about how you think I want a threesome for a start,” he stated for a start. Myranda started spluttering, a hand covering her mouth as she struggled to breath between hysterical laughter and genuinely swallowing her drink down the wrong way in her shock. Margaery had her glass half way to her mouth, eyes darting between Sansa and Jon in bewilderment. Sansa felt her cheeks flush and it was the embarrassment more than anything which made her push herself up from the table and storm past him.

He followed her outside, waiting for her to turn and face him. He ran a hand through his hair a couple of times as he looked at her and then it travelled down to his neck, holding itself there as he raised his eyebrows.

“So, are you going to explain?”

“Maybe you should explain,” she snapped. “Does your blonde friend know about our arrangement, is she okay with it?”

“What?” Jon questioned, his frown deepening.

“On your facebook,” she replied. Jon groaned, both hands coming to cover his face. She straightened in bitter victory, feeling the cold smugness travel through her.

“Sansa, I’m not fucking Val and never have,” he sighed, the words muffled by his hands. He lowered them after a moment, one hand running over his beard. “She’s gay anyway, but do you really think I would do that to you?”

“I don’t know,” she answered honestly, her arms folding around herself as she looked to the side. “You have to other girls after all!”

Jon flinched as though she had slapped him and she immediately felt awful. He swallowed, his eyes narrowing slightly.

“I’m…I don’t cheat,” he stated coolly.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured. “I just meant, you have a reputation. And I don’t mean that to be horrible but…but if you want to fuck other people I think we should agree on it first. This whole arrangement can only work if we’re clear right?”

“Right,” he agreed softly. She nodded, finally looking back at him and offering him a small smile.

“I just want us to be honest okay?”

“Okay,” he nodded, the frown still evident on his face. “I would never cheat on anyone. And especially not on you.”

“You sure know how to make a girl feel special Jon,” she teased as she moved to go back into the bar. She felt his eyes on her and a smug smile came to her lips, knowing he was checking out her ass as she walked away.

“So, are you having a threesome?” Myranda asked, her face back to normal rather than the red it had been as she struggled to breathe.

“No,” Sansa responded, poking her tongue out playfully. “We just straightened a few things out.”

Sansa’s phone buzzed and she glanced at it to see Arya’s name on the screen.

_Sansa, I have a party this weekend and Gendry is not going to be enough company for me to get through it._

_Can’t you just politely decline?_

_It is Aegon’s party._

Sansa’s eyes widened, chancing a glance at Jon. She realised Arya was probably asking her to come along as a buffer, or because Arya knew that she would prevent her little sister from launching herself at Jon, who was likely to be there. Aegon was his brother right enough.

_Can’t you still politely decline?_

_Gendry already told him we were going. The idiot didn’t even click who Aegon was in regards to Jon. He’s like a bull – all muscle and no brains._

_I’m not sure if that was a subtle hint to his sex skills but if so, please don’t._

_Oh, he is a bull in that regard too. Wait, stallions are associated with stamina not bulls….or can it be both….?”_

_I am done with this conversation and if you continue I will leave you to go to the party by yourself._

_Do I tell you often enough that you are my favourite sister?_

“I want to dance!” Margaery stated suddenly, craning her head towards the tiny dance floor in the corner. Sansa nodded, finishing her drink in a quick gulp and standing up. The grabbed their coats and bags, placing them on the seat beside the dancefloor.

Almost instantly, Myranda found a partner and Sansa laughed as her friend shot her a wink over the shoulder of the man who had come up to her. Margaery grasped Sansa’s hand, pulling her into the middle of the dance floor with her.

They went to the side every few songs in order to keep drinking and then they returned to dancing Sansa groaned as Myranda appeared with a tray of shots at some point. Although, she still took the two her friend held out to her regardless before returning to the dance floor .

Sansa loved dancing in any form. From a child in her ballet classes, to her Zumba fitness classes or in a club. She loved the rush of feeling the music running through her, the sheer fun of it all. She never thought much about her moves or how she looked, only caring about chasing that euphoric feeling.

It was just a couple of songs left to go before closing time, when Margaery’s eyebrows rose, the only warning Sansa got before she felt a hand touch her hip gently. She cast a glance over her shoulder, biting her lip at Jon’s hooded stare. He pulled at her hip, pressing her ass against his crotch and she barely contained a gasp at the hardness she felt there.

“Want to get out of here?” he murmured, swaying his hips in time with the music, keeping his bulge grinding against her ass. Sansa moved a hand up to grasp at his head, the other sliding to cover his that lay on her hip.

“My place or yours?” she joked, knowing fine well that they only ever did it at hers.

“Mine,” he whispered, making her turn and blink at him in shock.

“I always got the feeling that your place was off limits. Isn’t that blurring the lines?” she teased, even as her eyes searched his face. Jon frowned, his eyes dropping to look at some point on her shoulder as he replied.

“My place is closer,” he shrugged, returning his gaze to hers. “And if we’re being honest, I can’t wait to have you.”

She bit her lip, looking back towards Margaery who was watching them intently and then Jon’s hand on her hip moved lower, lying flat on the skin of her thigh and gods, the heat in his touch had her nodding before she realised it.

“Let me get my coat,” she murmured, gently extracting his hands from her and crossing over to the pile of coats and bags. Margaery stepped up next to her, helping her move the coats out of the way until Sansa found her jacket and clutch. She pulled Sansa into a hug.

“You sure you’re not too drunk for this?” she asked softly. Sansa nodded.

“Its fine,” she assured her friend. Margaery gave her a small smile at the reply before waving her off.

Jon hadn’t lied, Sansa realised as she followed him out of the bar. He grasped her waist as they stumbled around the corner. And it turned out his flat was literally around the corner.

Although as he pushed her up against the wall of the corridor, his tongue shoving into her mouth to give Sansa a taste of the lager he had been drinking all night, and his hand hoisting her leg over his hip, she wondered briefly if they would actually get inside or go at it right here.

She moaned, shifting her hips slightly to try and rub herself against him. Jon chuckled as he withdrew a little, his hand stroking up and down her thigh.

“So impatient,” he teased, his head ducking down to press kisses along her jaw and down her neck, teeth nipping into her skin after every few kisses. Sansa mewled, head tipping back against the wall as her right hand buried into his curls, sliding back and forth through the silky strands.

“Jon, please,” she gasped as he moved his head upwards to take her earlobe between his teeth.

“Please what?” he whispered, lifting her other leg as his hips began to rut against her. She whimpered, her legs parting as far as they could with the tight material of her dress, trying desperately to get him to fill the space.

“Fuck me,” she moaned, her free hand dropping to his ass, pressing him forward. He hissed, his lips finding hers once more.

The kiss was over as quickly as it had begun and Sansa whined as he dropped her legs one at a time and then moved to grab his keys from his pocket. He tugged her in after him, blindly slamming the door shut and Sansa barely had time to toss her jacket aside before he was pinning her against the wall once more.

His hands cupped under her thighs again, lifting her legs back around his waist as she wound her arms around his neck. He hummed softly as his hand stroked up and down her thigh before drifting under her dress to her soaked underwear.

“Always so wet,” he murmured, biting her lobe once more and she could feel his grin. “You’re always so wet for me aren’t you Sansa?”

“Always,” she agreed breathlessly. She traced her tongue along her lips as she felt their sudden dryness. Jon made an approving sound deep in his throat as he slipped two fingers beneath the waistband of her pants and instantly started sliding up and down, gathering her wetness.

He growled as her hips moved against his fingers and her fingers dug desperately into his shirt as he finally pressed his thumb against her clit in a steady circling motion. She brushed her nose against his shoulder as her head fell forward, exhaling softly at the way he just knows how to touch her, how to work her up and satisfy her at the same time.

Her legs tightened around his waist as he pushed a finger inside her, his other hand planted against the wall and his hips pinning his hand between them as it moved. She whimpered as he started to push his finger in and out in a teasingly slow motion, making her shift her hips to fuck herself on it.

“That’s it,” he murmured huskily. “Show me what you want baby.”

“I…I want…” she started, trailing off as he added another finger, her head thudding against the wall as she bit her lip against the deliciously full feeling.

“You want?” he prompted, his cheek brushing against her own. Sansa moaned, eyes fluttering shut as she tried to get her brain to work.

“I want to suck you off,” she gasped and Jon paused, raising his head to frown at her. She shrugged at his startled expression. “You haven’t let me do it yet.”

“Maybe later,” he replied, his fingers roughly resuming their movements and Sansa bit her lip at how good it felt, the sound of her wetness echoing with each push and pull of his fingers. Jon returned to nuzzle at her face. “Know what I want?”

She had no wits to reply, only managing to give her head a slow shake to indicate an answer as she whimpered softly, her body starting to rise towards its peak. Jon hummed approvingly as her walls tightened around his fingers. He moved his head further so that his lips were to her ear.

“I want to fuck you while you wear those heels.”

His mouth swallowed her gasp of surprise and she surrendered under his assault as she pushed herself down on his fingers, chasing her climax. His eyes were fixed on her face as she bit into her lip, cutting off the long groan that escaped her as her thighs shook, trying to close around his hand as her body pulled taut with her release.

He cupped her ass quickly, turning them towards the living area. He pushed her down on the sofa, his hands desperately sliding under her dress to tug at her underwear. He tossed them aside, his hands moving to unbutton his jeans and shove them down. Sansa moaned in anticipation, parting her legs and allowing him to slide them around his waist once more. He grinned down at her as one hand slid along her thigh.

“I have quite the thing for you in heels Sansa Stark,” he murmured, reaching forward to give her a sloppy kiss as he pushed forward.

Sansa groaned, arching up to meet him, her knees rising to pull him deeper inside of her. He groaned, his head falling into the crook of her shoulder, one hand grasping the sofa cushion, the other gripping her leg tightly as he started to gently rock in and out of her.

Her hands slid up and down his still clothed back, the fact they had been so desperate they hadn’t even undressed sent thrills throughout Sansa’s body. She licked her lips as Jon started to move faster, his mouth suddenly covering hers once more as he whimpered above her.

She could feel the beginning stirring of another climax, her body jerking as Jon reached down to rub at her clit. She broke the kiss, burying her head in his shoulder as she bucked her hips up in hard, desperate pushes, needing him deeper inside of her. Jon’s hand pushed deeper into the cushions as he hoisted his body up further, towering over her and making Sansa shiver beneath him.

Her hands slipped from his back to his ass, shoving him hard against him and causing Jon to curse repeatedly as he granted her wish and pounded harder into her. She turned her head against the cushions, eyes clenching shut as she felt her pleasure wash over her, her whole body tightening.

“Fuck!” Jon groaned harshly, his hips moving erratically, his cock thrusting in desperate, shallow motions until he tensed, pushing deep inside of her as he finished. She swallowed against her dry throat, her hands running up and down his back once more as he collapsed forward. She could detect his pounding heart beneath the clothes and it gave her an odd sense of comfort.

He pushed off of her, chest still heaving as shoved his hair from his eyes. She gave him a small smile, which he returned.

“We should shower before bed,” he murmured, moving to stand and pulling his clothes up to allow him to walk. She nodded, allowing him to pull her up with him. He grinned at her as she stumbled on her heels. “Want to share the shower?”

“Yes,” she moaned, feeling herself wet at the thought.

He tugged her towards the bathroom and once there, Sansa sat on the toilet to unclasp her shoes while Jon pressed the button to get the water running. He kicked off his shoes as she kicked her own aside and then she watched the muscles of his back ripple as he pulled his shirt off and tossed it aside and it was only when he raised his eyebrows that she realised she had been staring. She flushed, standing to pull the zipper at the side of her dress, stepping out of it as it pooled at her feet.

Jon held the door open as he shoved jeans and underwear down, kicking it aside before following her under the spray of the water. His hand curled around her waist and she giggled as it moved up to cup her breast.

“Again?” she teased, turning her head to meet his lips. Jon shrugged.

“What can I say?” he whispered, his fingers idly rubbing her nipple into hardness. “That dress reminded me of how sexy you are.”

***

Her head was pounding as she woke, frowning at the black wallpaper that assaulted her eyes. And then, just Jon’s soft snoring reached her ears, she remembered where she was. She flushed as she remembered how desperate they had been the night before, against the wall, on the sofa and in the shower. She had collapsed on the bed after that, her hair still wet from the shower. But she didn’t doubt they would have gone another round.

She cast a glance over her shoulder to see Jon lying on his stomach, hands curled around his pillow. She smiled at the sight before she sighed to herself, pushing herself out of the warmth of Jon’s covers. She shivered at the cold air as she padded through to the bathroom to collect her dress, flushing as she realised she was about to do the walk of shame.

“Shit!”

She turned at Jon’s voice, glancing through the gap of his bedroom door to see Jon sitting up with his elbows on his knees, and palms digging into his eyes.

“You okay?” she asked as she zipped her dress. He jerked upon hearing her, his wide-eyes meeting hers.

“I thought you had gone,” he murmured, sliding a hand awkwardly through his curls. Sansa raised her eyebrows.

“Charming,” she responded with a mock pout.

“Sansa,” he sighed, running a hand over his face. “Last night was stupid.”

“Oh,” she said, frowning down at the floor in confusion. “I thought it was pretty good.”

“It was good,” he replied, his hand still covering his eyes. “But Sansa…I …I can’t offer you anything more.”

“I’m not asking for anything more,” she insisted, anger rising through her at the fact he was seeming to decide what she did and didn’t want. “I’m just looking for some fun, the same as you. So we woke up together in the morning one time, what does that matter?”

“It is a bit too much like a relationship,” he said after a moment, looking towards his window. Sansa shrugged.

“Well, we’re agreeing right now that the deal remains as it was,” she stated. “Last night has changed nothing, alright?”

He stared at her for a long moment before he gave one, long nod.

“Last night changed nothing.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No smut in this chapter but a bit of bonding between Jon and Sansa.

“I can’t believe you said we would come to this,” Arya grumbled from the front passenger seat, her arms folded across her chest. Gendry sighed, his shoulders lifting in a small shrug.

“I’m sorry,” he replied. “Edric wanted me to come and I never see him. I didn’t think it would be Aegon as in Jon’s brother!”

“Jon might not even be there,” Sansa said casually as she applied her lipstick in her handheld mirror. “He isn’t really the partying type is he?”

_Or the talking type._

She smacked her lips together, resisting the urge to sigh at the fact that Jon hadn’t said a word to her since that night at hers. Well, other than the ‘good’ response she had received after texting him to say that she had made it home alright.

She understood that her staying over had thrown him. He was so insistent on the rules of the agreement and they had both been too drunk to really think about what was happening. And his bed had just been so comfortable and warm that she had fallen asleep so easily before her drunken brain could remind her that it was a bad idea.

Still, Sansa thought that he could have apologised for his outburst once he had calmed down and the fact he seemed determined to avoid her had meant her sympathy for him was fast being replaced with righteous anger.

He had his boundaries and his preferences, that was fine. But he didn’t have to take it out on her when he had been just as drunk as she had been. And he had not kicked her out after their frantic fuck on his sofa.

He had been the one to suggest the shower after all.

“Pfft, Jon doesn’t like the whole party scene in itself but it is a classic setting for getting a hook up,” Arya replied with a judgmental sniff. “He’ll definitely be there.”

“Well try not to punch him then,” Sansa stated firmly as she clicked her mirror shut and put it back in her bag.

Gendry pulled up to the curb, switching the ignition off as Arya and Sansa slid out of their seats. Sansa hissed at the cool area, wrapping her jacket tighter around herself as she shivered. She really should have worn a more practical dress than her black lace one. And tights would have been a good idea too. But Margaery always said, if you’ve got it, flaunt it.

Arya had her skinny black jeans on with a red camisole under her leather jacket and her feet snug and cozy in her ankle boots. Much more sensible, Sansa thought, pursing her lips as she examined her heels silently.

“Right, quicker we go in the quicker we can find Aegon, make chit-chat and then leave,” Arya commented before opening the door.

Sansa winced as The Vengaboys blasted out into the street, as much for the volume at the embarrassment of the music. Arya shot Gendry a thoroughly unimpressed look as he closed the door behind him.

“Hey, you made it!” a black-haired man shouted out, raising his plastic cup at Gendry before coming over. “Alright bro? Arya?”

“Peachy,” Arya grumbled, glancing around her. Sansa extended her hand.

“Sansa Stark,” she said with a smile. The man took his hand, giving her a dazzling grin of his own.

“Ah, yes," he commented raking his eyes over her and making Sansa frown in confusion, "I'm Edric Storm, Gendry’s brother,” he added, finally letting go of her hand, “I’ll go and find Aegon, he'd love to see you," he waved a hand towards Gendry and Arya before looking back at Sansa with a wide grin, "and he will definitely want to meet you!"

"Um," Sansa responded, looking to Arya for support but her sister seemed just as confused about it all.

"The kitchen and dining room is that way,” Edric continued, pointing down the corridor to the door on the left. “the living room is over there,” he pointed to the right, “there is a bathroom down here but there are also two upstairs at the end of the bedroom corridor. I'll catch you guys in a bit!”

“This place is huge,” Sansa murmured, looking around and up at the high ceilings in admiration.

“Well, Rhaegar is rich,” Arya mumbled, leading the way to the kitchen.

“That doesn’t mean that Aegon takes handouts,” Sansa replied gently. Arya raised an eyebrow as she pushed the kitchen door open. “Well, it doesn’t! I mean, our parents are rich but we made our own way.”

“They aren’t Starks,” Arya said before fully entering the kitchen, only to come to a sudden full stop, causing Sansa to collide into her back and then Gendry to bump into her.

“Arya, what…?” Sansa started before her eyes moved to the counter. "Oh!"

Jon was leaning against the counter, a beer bottle in his hand. The dark-haired girl next to them turned to give them an irritated look, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

Jon didn’t seem to notice, his eyes fixed on her as she stared back. And then he glanced between Arya and Gendry. Arya looked ready to leap for his throat. Gendry just looked awkwardly between them all.

“Hey,” Jon said eventually after another moment of silence.

“Hey man,” Gendry replied instantly only for Arya to hit his arm and glare at him.

Her sister stepped further into the kitchen, stepping between the girl and Jon with an overly polite “excuse me” as she reached up and took down two glasses. Sansa bit her lip as she watched Jon’s expression, his eyes flickering down to his beer and then back up to watch what Arya was doing. Her sister however, was doing a fantastic job at pretending that Jon didn’t exist.

“You wanting a beer babe?” she asked Gendry, turning to the fridge.

“Thanks,” Gendry replied. Sansa caught him mouthing ‘sorry’ to Jon when Arya stuck her head in the fridge.

Sansa rubbed her arm nervously, her eyes flickering around the room. She tried to avoid looking at Jon for too long.

"So, what do you say we go somewhere a bit more private?" the woman suddenly said, reaching to stroke Jon's arm.

He jerked, beer spilling across his hand from the movement. He frowned down at the liquid as it dripped from his skin before turning to get a handful of tissues to clean up.

"No thanks," he said when he realised the woman was still staring at him.

“Don’t stop on our account,” Arya commented brightly as she handed Gendry his beer and grabbed the vodka bottle, “you never did before anyway.”

“Arya,” Sansa warned, her eyes flickering to Jon who looked as though Arya had slapped him.

“Excuse me,” he said after a moment, pushing away from the counter and leaving the room.

Sansa turned her head to watch him disappear and then she felt a slight nudge on her arm. She looked down at the drink Arya had handed her, taking it with a small sigh.

“Dick,” Arya muttered with a shake of her head. She turned to Gendry then with a scowl. “What were you thinking? Saying hi,” she grumbled, mimicking Gendry’s wave as she said the word.

“I was just being nice,” Gendry stated with a shrug, taking a sip of his beer.

“Hey basically told us we wouldn’t last!” Arya hissed at him, putting her hand on her hip in annoyance, “why would you want to be nice to him?” Gendry shrugged again.

“Well, he was wrong, wasn’t he?” he responded simply. “And it was years ago. I just say we should move on from it.”

“Well, hello there!”

Sansa turned at the purring voice, smiling nervously as a blonde man entered the kitchen. His eyes raked over her and a grin spread across his face. It made unconsciously made Sansa shrink back between her sister and Gendry.

“Hi,” she said slowly.

“I’m Aegon,” the man continued, holding out his hand. Sansa reached out to clasp it, a gasp escaping her as he pulled the back of her hand to his mouth to place a kiss there. “And you,” he let go of her hand, “must be Sansa Stark.”

“How are people able to recognise ma? And why are they so impressed with me?” she whispered to Arya. Her sister shrugged, a confused frown on her face. When Sansa looked at Gendry she got the same reaction.

“Oh, you’re famous in our household,” Aegon chuckled, walking to the fridge.

“What?” Sansa blurted and Aegon grinned at her as he popped the cap of his beer.

“Jon wouldn’t shut up about you whenever he was home from visiting you guys,” he said with a chuckle. Arya’s drink suddenly splattered against the floor as she spat it out in shock.

“He _what_?” she growled. Sansa reached to grab her arm, patting it reassuringly.

“Don’t,” she whispered when Arya looked at her.

“Yeah,” Aegon shrugged. “Aunt Dany teased him non-stop about having a crush. And he was all,” he cleared his voice, dropping his voice dramatically “no I don’t, she’s practically a kid,” he chuckled to himself before continuing, not noticing how Sansa bristled at the word “kid”, “and I teased him about finding the one,” he quoted the last two words and chuckled again, “which freaked him out. He went off for about two weeks which seemed a hellava lot like denial to me but I’m no psychologist.”

 “Jon had a crush on me?” Sansa replied, blinking in shock.

“Aye he probably fancied you like he did the majority of the female population,” Arya sniffed as she moved to get kitchen roll to clean up the drink she had spat on the floor. “He would never get someone like Sansa though. She’s way too smart for that.”

“I mean, to be honest, I don’t think he realised how much he talked about you. It just always seemed to come up somehow, you know? I don’t think he even thought about it or realised what he was saying half the time. It would just be stuff like “oh Sansa said something about that movie,” or “Sans loves that book”, you know, just casual stuff that you wouldn’t normally notice. But it was all. the. time! Anyway, Dany thought Ygritte was you when he first brought her home,” Aegon continued, taking a long drag of his beer. “Boy, _that_ was a fun evening!”

“Was that why he and Ygritte split up?” Sansa asked without thinking. Aegon rested the bottle against his lips as he regarded her. He swallowed the liquid in his mouth and shifted slightly against the fridge.

“Um, I guess it led to it,” he mumbled, suddenly looking down at his watch. “Anyway, nice to meet you Sansa. And nice to see you two again,” he nodded towards Arya and Gendry before leaving.

“How much longer do we have to stay?” Arya grumbled, leaning back against the table.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom,” Sansa stated, placing her drink beside her sister.

She wandered to the bathroom at the end of the corridor, pressing the handle down. It was locked so she made her way upstairs to try and find one of the other ones that Edric had commented on. She pushed the first door she came to.

“Oh, sorry!” she gasped when Jon looked up at her from the bed he was lying on. He sat up, pulling his earphones out.

“Hey,” he said.

“You have a room here?” she asked, glancing around with interest. Jon shrugged.

“Yeah, well actually Dad owns this place,” he murmured. “He wanted a place we could all meet in Glasgow. Obviously, I’m overwhelmed with excitement at the idea of an impending visit.”

She chuckled at his deadpan tone before she shifted her feet awkwardly.

“Um, I was looking for the bathroom,” she explained, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“You can use that one,” he responded, nodding to his en suite. He rubbed his hands over his jeans. “I, um, I’d like to talk to you anyway,” he added, one hand raising to rub at his beard, “if that is alright?”

“Sure,” she said, stepping into the room and clicking the door shut softly behind her.

When she came back out, Jon was sitting cross-legged on his bed. He gave a small smile, patting the bed beside him.

“So, um, I’m sorry about last week,” he started, shifting so that he was facing her. “I shouldn’t have taken my commitment issues out on you.”

“Thanks,” she replied, glancing down at her hands. “I appreciate the apology. And I get that it bothered you, I won’t stay over again.”

“It is just,” Jon began, giving a long sigh, “I’m not someone a girl like you should be with.”

“I’m not a kid,” she snapped, still angry from Aegon’s earlier words as well. Jon blinked as she pushed herself off the bed to stand. “I can make my own decisions!”

“Sansa, we fucked without a condom! Twice!” he hissed, pushing himself off the bed to stand in front of her. “Don’t you see how big of a deal that is?”

“I’m on the pill,” she replied with a shrug. Jon scoffed, shaking his head as he pushed a hand through his hair.

“That wasn’t what I meant,” he sighed, scrubbing the hand over his face in exasperation as he gave a mirthless laugh. “And the pill isn’t always effective,” he pushed back down on the bed, pressing his palms together and resting his elbows on his knees. “And to me, sex without a condom is intimate, it is something that happens in a stable, long-term relationship.”

“Okay, yeah I get that,” she conceded, folding her arms across her chest. She glanced at her shoes nervously, the question blurting out before she could stop it. “What happened with Ygritte?”

He gave a sharp inhale, shaking his head slightly and at first, she thought he was signalling that he wasn’t going to talk about it. But then, he fixed his gaze on his window and started talking.

“I…I didn’t have such strict rules back then,” he said. “We would stay over at each other’s houses, and we would hang out. Then I started picturing what it would be like to really be with someone, properly. I wasn’t in love with her but, I guess I thought I could have been with enough time. I asked her to come and visit my family. Dany thought she was … someone else and addressed her as such.”

“So that obviously didn’t go down well. We had a massive fight when we got home and she left,” he sighed and Sansa blinked in surprise when she saw his eyes glistening slightly, his chest shuddering as he tried to stop himself from crying. “She was pregnant, because I had been an idiot, thinking it would be alright and didn’t use a condom after the first couple of months,” he glared down at the covers, his fingers curling in his anger, “she had an abortion. And she didn’t even tell me until after it was done. As if I had no right to know about it or even offer an opinion. I mean, if she truly didn’t want to go through with it, I would be devastated, but I would have understood. It was the not telling me that really hurt.”

“Oh Jon,” she whispered sympathetically, crossing the floor and kneeling in front of him. “I’m sorry I pushed your boundaries. I wish you had told me this, I would have taken it more seriously.”

“I didn’t want to talk about it,” he responded with a shrug. He reached up and harshly wiped his eyes.

“And, I take it Robb and Arya didn’t know about this part?” Sansa stated, her hands stroking his knees soothingly. Jon shook his head.

“No,” he mumbled, “she only told them that we were over. I don’t even know if she was still pregnant when she told Jeyne we were over or not. I don’t know how far along she was or anything.”

“I’m sorry,” Sansa whispered again. “Maybe I could ask Robb and Arya to give you the chance to explain your side of it?”

“Sans?” Arya called out and Jon closed his mouth from his intended response.

“Shit, I better go,” she mumbled, pushing herself back up and hurrying to the door. She paused, looking back at him with a soft smile. “I’ll see you around,” she said and Jon gave a half smile in response as he nodded.

“What were you doing?” Arya asked as she came to the top of the stairs to see Sansa come out of the room.

“I got lost,” Sansa replied honestly. “And Jon and I were talking.”

“What on earth would you need to talk to Jon for?” Arya scoffed.

“I think you and Robb need to talk to him,” Sansa answered as they headed down the stairs. “I think you guys only got one side of the story.”

“Yeah, we got what Ygritte told Jeyne,” Arya agreed as they entered the kitchen once more. “But, I mean, Jon’s behaviour wasn’t exactly making him innocent.”

“Please, Arya,” Sansa responded, reaching to grasp her sister’s arm. Arya frowned down at the way Sansa’s fingers dug into her skin. “I really think it was a misjudgement. At least let him tell you his side.”

“What is with the sudden interest in Jon?” her sister asked, folding her arms and raising her eyebrows.

“You, Jon and Robb were so close before,” Sansa replied with a casual shrug. “It seems a shame to not try and sort it out.”

“It was years ago,” Arya stated simply. “We’ve all moved on.”

Sansa sighed, realising she was best to drop the subject for now. Still, she hoped that she would be able to convince both Robb and Arya to at least talk with Jon about what had happened all those years ago.

Jon wasn’t as good at pretending not to care as he thought he was, Sansa thought as she followed her sister and Gendry out of the door. She glanced back, her eyes trailing up the stairs as though expecting to see Jon there.

And she had always been good at reading people.

***

She had thought about the situation with Jon over the last few days and decided they really needed to talk about it. Properly, no tip-toeing around. They had to really lock down exactly what they were going to be. She knew they had to decide whether they were going to be people who fucked only, or whether they should end the fucking part of their agreement and attempt to become friends.

She supposed she should have actually text Jon to arrange a time to talk, but she had been in town anyway and had been close to his place. So, she had wandered down the street and pressed the buzzer to his apartment, stamping her feet repeatedly in response to the cold as she waited for him to let her in.

The seconds dragged on so she buzzed again, hissing as she wrapped her arms around herself. She was just about to give up, turning to hop back down the steps when his muffled voice came over the intercom.

“It’s Sansa,” she chirped, “Can we talk?”

“Um, no isn’t a good time,” he replied.

Sansa felt a shiver that had nothing to do with the cold run through her. She swallowed thickly, her heart racing as her mind raced with questions, each more horrible than the other. She told herself not to overreact, not to make assumptions. Arya and Robb had been wrong about Jon, she could be wrong too.

“Right,” she mumbled, her chest suddenly feeling tight.

“I’m feeling really shit,” he explained, “I thought it was Aegon at the door with the medicine the doctor prescribed.”

“Oh,” she stated, shaking her head at herself. Of course, she thought, she could hear his choked voice. “Do you need anything?” she asked, glancing behind her at the corner shop across the road. “I can get you soup or something?”

“I’m fine,” he protested, followed by a series of rumbling coughs that made her wince.

“I’m going to get you something,” she persisted, ignoring as he coughed a protest and jumping down the steps and crossing over to the shop.

She grabbed a tin of tomato soup and a bag of grapes and paid for them quickly. As she crossed back over to his flat, she saw Aegon pull up at the pavement. He raised his eyebrows at her as she fell into step beside him.

“Oh aye,” he remarked brightly, pressing the buzzer. “You taking care of Johnny boy are ya?”

“He’s a friend,” she replied with a shrug, glaring when Aegon made a humming sound that sounded exaggerated.

“Sansa,” Jon sighed when he saw her hovering behind Aegon.

“Hey, take it man,” Aegon insisted, handing Jon the prescription bag. “And don’t knock the sweet girl. It is nice to have someone take care of you once in a while.”

Jon grunted, returning to the sofa where he pulled his duvet back over his legs and opening the packet of antibiotics.

“Well, I’ll leave you guys to it,” Aegon said after a moment, giving Sansa a wink as he passed. She reached to close the door behind him.

“Here,” she stated, handing him the bag of grapes. “I’m just going to go and heat the soup up.”

“Thanks,” he murmured as he reached for the glass of water on the table. He popped the antibiotics in his mouth and took a quick gulp of water to wash it down. “You don’t need to waste time on me.”

“Don’t be silly,” she scoffed, opening the kitchen cabinets until she found the pots and pans. She took one out, flicking the stove on and placing the pot on top. “You’re clearly in bad shape and I’m on holiday from work all this week anyway.”

“I’m sure you could be doing better things with your time,” he commented as he settled back against the cushions, lazily reaching back to grab the television remote.

“No,” she chirped as she poured the soup in the pot to heat it up. She paused slightly before grabbing a wooden spoon. “Um, actually, Robb has been trying to set me up on a date.”

“Oh?” he remarked after a moment of silence. “Who is the lucky guy?”

“Someone he works with,” she replied with a shrug. “I’m not sure if I will go on a date or not.”

When Jon didn’t say anything, she glanced behind her. He was frowning at the television, despite it still being on the Netflix menu. As if sensing her gaze, he shook his head and started flicking through the options.

“I mean, he sounds nice enough,” she continued. Jon grunted. “But, I’m…I dunno,” she trailed off, frowning down into the soup as though it would hold the answers.

“You’re single,” he said, staring intently at the television.

“Well, yeah I guess,” she replied as she switched the stove off. “I mean, a date won’t hurt, right?”

“Nope,” Jon responded, popping the ‘p’ as he continued to watch the show he had on with rapt interest.

“Here,” she said, carrying his bowl of soup over to him. “Obviously homemade would have been better but tomato soup always makes you feel better.”

She helped him shift the cushions so he could sit up and she handed him the bowl and spoon. He jerked his head when she reached up to touch his forehead. His eyes met hers, staring for a moment, wide with shock.

“Just wanted to check your fever,” she mumbled. Jon continued to stare at her, making her shiver at the intensity.

She remembered Aegon’s words at the party, about how his family had teased him for having a crush on her. And as he continued to watch her intently, she wondered briefly if those feelings had ever truly gone away.

“You should go,” he stated suddenly, clearing his throat and tearing his eyes away. “It can get pretty messy when I start hacking stuff up.”

“Okay,” she responded softly, pushing herself away from him and making her way out of his flat.

***

“Podric?” she asked, hesitantly ducking her head towards the man sitting in the chair she had approached. He turned, a bright smile lighting up his face.

“Sansa?” he responded and she grinned back, taking the hand that he had offered.

“Robb talked about you a lot,” Podrick stated as she settled in her seat and grabbed a menu. “He said you want to be an editor for a magazine?”

“Oh, yeah,” she replied, beaming at him as he looked at her with rapt interest. “Yeah, an editor for a fashion magazine.”

“That would be cool,” he stated enthusiastically.

Sansa couldn’t really remember a time that a man had really showed so much genuine interest in her life, had seemed to want to get to know her. The conversation flowed easily and she had to admit, Podrick was cute.

She had been debating going on the date over the last few days and had eventually text Robb to say that she would give it a shot. She had nothing to lose, she had told herself. And as Jon had said, she was single.

As they paid the bill and got ready to leave, she had thought to herself that she would probably be happy to go on a second date, considering how well it had gone. But as Podrick held the door open for her and she stepped out of the street, her giggle died in her throat and she stopped dead.

Across the road, Jon was frozen as he stared at her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jon POV on the events of before.  
> And ValofWinterfell asked for this to be updated in exchange for her donation to the Jonsa charity fundraiser on Tumblr. It was already pretty much done though so, I've actually started the next chapter for the gift. Or you can claim both chapters haha

_“Hello?” Robb called, opening the door to the Stark’s huge home._

_Jon was used to his father having large, expensive homes but there was something different about the Stark’s place. It was still clear from the spacious rooms, the huge gardens, the garage and the driveway that the Stark’s were rich. But there was a modest feel to it too which Jon liked a lot. From what he knew of Robb (and he thought that to be a lot, since he was his best and in many ways his first true friend), the Stark’s were nice people who worked hard and gave a lot back to the community._

_They were the opposite of Rhaegar and for that alone, Jon liked them immediately._

_“Hello dear!” a woman’s voice travelled down the hall and the next moment, Robb’s mother was opening the kitchen door with a wide grin._

_Robb had clearly inherited her red hair and kind blue eyes. Apparently, all of Robb’s siblings except his youngest sister, Arya, had inherited them._

_He held his hand out nervously. “Hello Mrs Stark. I’m Jon!”_

_“Robb has told us a lot about you Jon,” Catelyn responded, taking his hand and giving him a warm smile. “And please, Catelyn is fine.”_

_“I hope I’m not being an inconvenience,” Jon said. “Robb insisted I stay for the summer but I don’t want to be a burden.”_

_“Not at all!” Catelyn waved him off. “I love a full house! Come on, you boys must be starving!”_

_“We’re two hours away, not on a desert island!” Robb sighed but he followed his mother through to the kitchen all the same and Jon not far behind._

_His phone beeped and he glanced at it, grimacing when Alys’ name came across the screen. She was starting to push the boundaries of their agreement too much for him recently. Staying over too often, suggesting they do more things outside the bedroom._

_She was a nice girl, they had fun. But Jon had always been clear with every girl he got involved in that it was just sex and nothing more. The odd sleepover didn’t bother him so long as it didn’t become an expected thing. But he hated how his father would string women along his whole life instead of just being honest about the fact he couldn’t commit._

_It wasn’t that Jon didn’t really want to commit to someone eventually. He would give up his ways in a few years, he was sure. He just needed to get it all out of his system now and then figure out the serious relationship thing after with the right girl._

_“I don’t get it!”_

_“Sansa, dear, what is the matter?” Catelyn asked, poking her head through the door to what Jon supposed was the living room._

_A large dining table was in there too and a tall, red-headed girl was sitting with her math books spread out across the surface, her head in her hands. Opposite her was a smaller girl with mousy brown hair tied in a messy ponytail._

_“I hate maths!” the red-headed girl growled, throwing her pencil on the table and glaring up at the people who had just entered. Her eyes widened as they fell on Jon and her cheeks flushed in embarrassment of her outburst. “Sorry, I didn’t realise we had guests!” She clapped a hand to her mouth in a rather adorable gesture that made Jon smile warmly._

_“Don’t worry about it,” he insisted, holding his hand out. “I’m Jon Snow. Sansa, I’m guessing?”_

_“Yeah,” she replied, the blush still staining her pretty cheeks._

_“And, Arya?”_

_“The one and only!” the brown-haired girl beamed, shaking his hand as well._

_“The devil on your shoulder more like!” Robb muttered. Arya stuck her tongue out at him._

_“Being the devil is a compliment,” she answered._

_“You are good at causing trouble,” Robb teased, ducking when Arya threw her pen at him._

_“Does that make me the angel?” Sansa quipped before turning to Arya. “Told you I’m the favourite sister!”_

_“He just doesn’t want to hurt your feelings in front of his friend. He hates you really. We are actually putting an ad for you on eBay but nobody is bidding more than five pence because nobody wants you.”_

_“Honestly girls!” Catelyn sighed. “Whatever will Jon think of you?”_

_“It’s alright,” he replied. “I have a brother and a sister who are just like this with each other. It is nice, familiar.”_

_“Still, my daughters were raised better than that,” Catelyn said, fixing them with a stern look before turning back to Jon, all kind eyes and warm smile once more. “Now, Robb will show you to your room while I put the kettle on.”_

_“Your sisters are cute,” Jon commented casually. Robb stopped in the middle of his sentence about the house and levelled Jon with a glare so harsh, it gave weight to the phrase if looks could kill._

_“Don’t get any ideas there!” Robb said, his voice dangerously low. Jon held his hands up._

_“I wasn’t going to!” he insisted. “I don’t go for girl’s who are sweet and innocent.”_

_“Definitely don’t get any ideas if it is Sansa you have your eye on!” Robb replied sternly._

_“I wasn’t going to!” Jon repeated, harsher than he intended. “I swear I will never seduce your sister!”_

_“Good.”_

_“But if she seduces me…”_

_Robb thumped him on the arm and gave an annoyed huff but Jon saw the smile regardless. Robb had mentioned his sisters before. Arya, he swore could handle herself but Sansa was a dreamer and he had always worried she would be swept off her feet by the wrong type of man. Jon got it, he was protective of Rhaenys as well and even Aunt Dany, who was of similar age to him, had had her fair share of bad romances. He wouldn’t want them with someone like him either._

_As he stepped into the room, he was touched that Catelyn had spent so much time making up the guest room for him. She had taken note of Robb’s comments about his favourite colours and type of décor. There was a television perched on top of one of the dressers too. It was nice of her to make such an effort for him when he was only staying for a summer._

_But as the days turned to weeks and summer flew past, he started to think that perhaps, if the Starks allowed, he would come and visit at Christmas as well rather than accompany his father and the Targaryens for their usual jaunt to some island or other._

_Ned Stark actually cared about his children, acknowledged each and every one as the individual people that they were. Catelyn was the mother figure he had always wanted in his life. He wondered, not for the first time, if he would be a better person if his mother had lived. Or if Rhaegar had been able to commit._

_But then, he was a hypocrite for judging Rhaegar when he had never stayed with anyone longer than a few weeks._

_He told himself that he was better than Rhaegar, he never led anyone on. He was honest from the start about the deals he made with his women. He ended things when it started to get too intimate and he made sure to stay away, lest the women should get any ideas of being able to change him. He wasn’t into deliberately breaking hearts._

_Arya found his whole behaviour highly amusing. More often than not, she would sneak out for a party with her friends and had caught Jon somewhere in town or outside the house with his latest lady of choice. She, like Robb, had assured him that some folk like to explore their options and she was certain he would settle down eventually._

_Jon told himself the same thing too many times to count._

_Nevertheless, Arya’s support and the fact she never told anyone else, not even Robb, when she caught Jon with someone had meant a lot to him. She wasn’t judging him or smothering him, telling him he was a horrible person. They grew closer over the summer and Jon felt she was another sister by the time he was ready to go back to university with Robb in September._

_He even bonded with Bran and Rickon over the summer which had surprised him. He never thought he was one for bonding with kids but the two youngest Starks were rather endearing. Bran was sweet, making Jon a welcome card by hand, though he suspected from the looped handwriting that perhaps Catelyn or Sansa had also been involved. Still, it touched him that Bran would even think to do such a thing._

_Rickon barely gave anyone a choice but to engage with him. He would tell everyone within earshot about his day, to the very important detail of the cake they baked in class to how he had married his classmate Shireen at break time. It tugged at Jon’s heartstrings, made him remember the blurry details of playing on the living room floor at Nan’s with his own puppy toy, how happy he had been to tell her about his days at nursery. And when his mother would come home, he remembered how he would drop everything and run to her, lift his arms up to a cuddle and giggle as she twirled him around. Seeing Rickon now made him wonder if he would have continued to have a happy childhood if his mother had lived. Would he be telling her he was marrying someone now, instead of sleeping with every girl he could in the search of some form of intimacy, the only form he trusted himself to give._

_It hadn’t taken him long to figure that he was attracted to Sansa. He had a weakness for redheads anyway but Sansa was sweet and kind. She could also be a total smartass while maintaining an air of innocence which Jon found incredibly amusing and admittedly rather hot. Of course, he never did anything to her. For one thing, she was only fifteen, even if she had been interested in him, which she wasn’t. She had a crush on some Daemon guy in her class. But she was also Robb’s little sister and he would never want to do anything that upset Robb. Sansa was also innocent and sweet, the apple of the garden of Eden to Jon’s Eve. He shouldn’t touch her or corrupt her. The world needed more people like Sansa, who were kind and warm and sweet no matter how horrible the world was to them. Jon would never want to be the one to ruin that. So, he swore to himself that no matter what happened in the future, Sansa Stark was the one girl he would never pursue._

_Still, there were times when he was taking care of himself where, out of nowhere, Sansa’s face would flash in his mind. Even times he started out thinking of his current fuck buddy or a hot celebrity he had seen on a magazine cover, Sansa would sneak in there instead and he would finish with such intensity he would be shaking and panting on the bed for minutes afterwards. He figured the fact she was forbidden made her even more attractive._

_It was nothing but a fleeting crush. She was a pretty girl and forbidden to him. He would get over her eventually, the excitement of her being off limits would wear off._

_And if he started reading books he had heard her recommend, it was just because he had seen the thing in the window of the shop or in the library. And so what? If Robb or Arya had recommended a book he would have been just as likely to pick them up too. It didn’t mean anything._

_Nor did the movies he watched because Sansa had mentioned them. Or the shops he went to when it came to Christmas shopping for the Starks because Sansa had great taste when it came to gifts for everyone._

_Just because he kept his distance from Sansa didn’t mean he wasn’t listening. And why wouldn’t he when she was pretty smart at a lot of things? More intelligent than she ever gave herself credit for anyway._

_The morning after her school dance, when she had said she should probably just give Daemon what he wanted, Jon had been surprised and confused at the intensity of his envy for this boy he didn’t even know._

_He started picking up girls almost every weekend. Robb and Arya, who had let him go on with his playboy ways for a long time had started to notice that even this was something else driving him. The more they asked, the more he snapped at them and refused their gentle offers of help. And the more he denied he had a problem, or more specifically, that the problem was Sansa Stark and how, if he were brave enough to admit, he wanted her more than he had ever wanted anything._

_He denied it every day. She wasn’t his, she wouldn’t be his and she didn’t belong with him. (The last point he didn’t have to deny)._

_His denial had led him straight into Ygritte’s arms._

_She was nothing like Sansa. Their red hair and blue eyes the only thing they had in common. But Ygritte wasn’t off limits to him, although she made him work for her. And he had admired that about her. She had made him laugh, she kept him on his toes. He liked hanging out with her as well. He thought that maybe he could have made things work with her, given up his womanising ways for her._

_And then, a few months later, when he had brought her home for Rhaegar, Aegon, Rhenys and Aunt Dany to meet, Dany had assumed it was Sansa he had brought home, saying it was about time he made a move instead of pining after her for so long._

_No matter how much he assured Ygritte that nothing had ever happened with Sansa (it wouldn’t ever because Sansa was too good for him, too pure and sweet) she would not listen. She had stared at him as he admitted he supposed he may have had a crush on her at some point (always, his mind hissed) he was with her and she was important to him. Ygritte was someone he could be with._

_“Could be,” she had echoed, shaking her head. “But you don’t want to be. Not really. You want her.” She had left then, pausing at the door to say one final thing. “You say you’ll never have her. But sleeping around won’t make you happy Jon. You would have got bored of me eventually. And I deserve better than to be someone’s second best.”_

_He had went on the defensive, saying she was stupid and jealous. She had just shook her head and walked out._ _He had remained so defensive when he had gone home that night._

_And when Ygritte called a few days later, telling him that she had had an abortion, that she couldn’t have a child with someone who would never be there, who she couldn’t trust to support the child, his anger had been replaced by the bitter, hallow realisation that he might have missed his one chance to be a father._

_He hadn’t even realised how much he had wanted it until he realised the chance was gone._

_And he had fallen into Alys’ arms once more. The first and last time he had promised himself that he would sleep with the same casual girl twice. She had just been there though and having a meaningless fuck was just what he need. Letting his irritation out to the sound of her pleasured cries until he was spent and collapsed on the bed._

_She knew better than to stay so Jon was not surprised to wake up alone the next morning. The sound of desperate knocking on the door was what had him confused. And the sight of Robb waiting for him, eyes hard and arms folded over his chest had made his irritation rise once more._

_“What time do you call this?” he had grumbled._

_“Really? That’s what you’re going to say to me?” Robb growled back, slamming the door with such a force it made Jon wince. “Jeyne has been up with Ygritte all night, consoling her because you –“ He jabbed Jon in the chest._ “You _fucked Alys merely hours after you had broken up with her!”_

_Jon opened his mouth to explain that they had been split up for several days. But that was hardly better when he thought about it. And Robb had blundered on before he had any chance to speak anyway._

_“You said it was different!” Robb muttered, pushing his hands through his hair. “You promised me this was real Jon!”_

_“Yeah well,” Jon snarled, his lack of sleep and the fact he was still hurt from the news of the abortion making him defensively angry. “Guess leopards can’t change their spots.”_

_“And what?” Robb hissed, gesturing wildly with his hand just as Arya stepped through the front door. “You didn’t think that your behaviour would affect me? Jeyne is Ygritte’s best friend!”_

_“Well, its not like you’d be alone,” Jon commented. “Divorce rates are pretty high nowadays.”_

_Robb stepped back as though he had been punched. Arya’s jaw dropped for a brief second as Jon continued on. “People don’t stay around Robb. And if they do its only because they settle. There is no such thing as true love.”_

_He remembered telling Sansa once how he wished he could have her faith in such a thing. A part of him had wanted such a thing despite knowing he could never have it. He didn’t know what a fictional relationship was._

_He didn’t even really believe what he had said to Robb. But he was hurt and confused, ashamed that his behaviour had meant he had pushed Ygritte into having an abortion. Robb had been an easy target._

_And Arya too, when she had tried to step in._

_He had left, like a coward. Shame churning in his gut at what he had said, what he had done._

_And the traitorous part of his brain had merely commented that people like him weren’t meant to trust anyone because you just get hurt._

_***_

_Sansa wasn’t a virgin, he knew that (how he hated Harry Hardying)._

_But she might as well have been for the way she was when they first started fucking._

_Not even just in her shyness, which he found as endearing as always. But in the way that she barely realised how good sex was supposed to be. The sounds she made whenever he pinched or sucked her nipples, reducing her to a begging, shivering mess until he moved lower never failed to make him hard._

_And when he devoured her cunt, overcome with emotion that she trusted him enough to want this with him, watching her face when she was distracted as she warred with her pleasure and her modesty, He had never wanted anything more than to make her feel this way forever._

_The thought had struck him so suddenly, he had panicked. He had tried to pull away, tried to re-establish the rules that they couldn’t do more than this._

_(He had ruined her enough)_

_“What if I want you to ruin me?” she had panted against his ear when he had told her he never wanted to ruin her._

_He knew he should say no. That she should find a nice man who will give her a ring and lots of beautiful children (Gods, it still hurt!) but he can’t resist her (he never could) and he tells her so._

_He fucked her on every surface of her flat over the weeks. Against the wall, over the dining room table, on the sofa._

_Once he had made her watch in the mirror as he played with her body. He had first squeezed her full, firm tits, making her arch up so she could push them into his hands, her arse rubbing against his cock where she sat in his lap. He had played with her nipples, sharp pinches and gentle rubs, making her squirm and sigh and whine. Whenever she stopped watching, he would stop touching her, his fingers pinching her nipples firmly until she conceded and gave him back control._

_He had watched her cheeks flush, her eyes widen, transfixed on the image of him touching her. He had muttered the filthiest things in her ear, about how much he loved touching her, how she had the prettiest cunt, how he touched himself thinking about touching and licking it._

_She was a drug he hadn’t even realised he had become addicted to. He felt jealous and possessive over her, wanted to make her feel so good. She hadn’t been a virgin, but her innocence was practically his and it made him smug, made his chest warm at the thought that he had had her, after all this time._

_And then he had fucked her without a condom and freaked out. He pushed her away again because he couldn’t believe he had been so stupid to repeat that mistake. He reminded himself why he had always told himself to never fall in love. It hurt people._

_(Rhaegar had always hurt those he ‘loved’)_

_(Jon wasn’t Rhaegar, he wasn’t!)_

_When she told him, Robb had set her up on a date, he had swallowed down his jealousy and acted as though he didn’t care at all. Being sick had made it easy to act as though he wasn’t paying attention. But then her hand on his forehead had made him jerk back, his heart hammering because Sansa wasn’t supposed to still be nice after he had treated her like this._

_(She always had been too good for him)_

_Seeing her coming out of that restaurant had made his heart stop. Her easy laugh dying when her eyes caught his, wide as a doe caught in headlights. He had turned and ran, like he always did._

_And when he reached home he opened his phone, barely letting Rhaenys answer before he broke down in sobs. His sister had made a bewildered sound and asked what was wrong, repeating the question when Jon asked if he could come with her and Dad to Venice. He never wanted to be near Rhaegar when he could avoid him. But Rhaegar had always tried to buy Jon’s affections and for once, Jon thought he might actually be useful._

_When Rhaegar signed the check and the balance cleared in his bank account, Jon came home and booked his first private therapy session._

_He wanted to sort himself out._

_He wanted to be happy, truly happy. And secure._

_He wanted Sansa to be his, completely and utterly. And he wanted to be hers in return._


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the one dedicated to Valofwinterfell since the other chapter was already pretty much done when you donated.

_“Whatcha looking at?” Arya asked, leaning over the kitchen counter to peer into the garden._

_“Nothing,” Sansa said quickly as she averted her eyes from a shirtless Jon Snow. “Was just staring into space.”_

_“You spend way too much time in that head of yours,” Arya commented, turning to rest her back against the counter. “You’re not thinking about that loser Daemon again are you?”_

_“No, I’m over him,” Sansa assured her quickly. She hoped her cheeks weren’t as red as they felt as her eyes darted to Jon once more as he continued helping Ned and Robb assemble all the garden furniture Catelyn had just bought for the summer._

_Since the night she had come home in tears from how she had thought Daemon had broken her heart, there had been a sort of easier friendship between her and Jon. They still didn’t spend a lot of time together, and barely alone. But there were more smiles when they saw each other, genuine and soft._

_Jon had a nice smile when he was truly happy._

_And, she thought as she let her eyes rake over his bare chest, a nice body it seemed too._

_Luckily, Arya was already on the sofa, flicking through the channels until she found a horror movie. She hadn’t noticed that Sansa was practically eye-fucking Robb’s best friend._

_Her cheeks burned again and she forced herself to turn away, quickly dismissing herself from the room before Arya could see her red face._

_Leaning against the cool walls of the hall, she took a deep breath and shook her head slowly. She was stupid, she knew. And she knew that nothing could ever happen between them._

_But she was starting to crush pretty damn hard on Jon Snow these days._

_***_

_Hi, I’m not available right now. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you._

Sansa sighed as she removed the phone from her ear and frowned at Jon’s name as though doing so would suddenly make him answer his phone or return one of the six calls she had left in the last couple of days.

She hadn’t seen or heard from him since he had seen her come out of the restaurant with Pod last weekend. Pod, however, had phoned her not even a day later and asked if she would be interested in a second date sometime.

And she had, she truly had wanted to. She still did. Pod had been sweet and attentive, had seemed interested in her and her life. And Robb approved of him enough to try and set them up which told her that he had to be a great guy because Robb was very protective of both her and Arya.

But she knew she had to figure out what was going on with Jon as well because despite everything, she was attracted to him, just as much as she had always been, and she knew she liked him a lot more than she should. And the way he had looked at her when she came out of that restaurant with Pod, it was as though he was stunned and, dare she say, hurt.

In that moment, she had thought that maybe his crush on her had never truly disappeared. And she had realised that the thought made a warmth spread through her that she had only thought happened in romance novels. Because if she were to be truly honest with herself, her teenage crush on him had crossed her mind more often than not during their couplings.

But if Jon wasn’t going to talk to her, if he was deliberately ignoring her, then what else could she do? She didn’t want to continue dating Pod without consulting Jon and officially ending their arrangement but he was giving her no choice. She couldn’t put her life on hold waiting for Jon to change, waiting for Jon to be able to have a healthy, trusting relationship.

“You can’t spend your whole life afraid to love someone,” she sighed into the air, wishing that Jon could hear her.

That afternoon, when she opened her contacts once more, Pod answered after the second ring.

***

It was the next day, as she was walking towards the bus stop after her shift, when she spotted Aegon going into the Starbucks across the road. Before she knew what she was doing, she found herself crossing the road and entering the café.

“Sansa!” he greeted her warmly, sparing her a smile as he handed the server his cash. “You must have a magic touch. Jon was up and about not long after you popped around to look after him.”

“Yeah, I, uh, I saw him not long after that,” she responded. Crossing her arms over her chest, she took a deep breath to calm her nerves as she bumbled on. “I haven’t seen him since last week. Is he alright?”

Aegon frowned at his cup as he picked it up and then looked at her. “He went to Dad’s place in Venice with him last weekend. Didn’t he tell you?”

“Oh,” she replied, her cheeks flushing in her embarrassment that she hadn’t known and disappointment that Jon didn’t tell her.  She shook her head slowly, her eyes trained on the edge of the counter so he couldn’t see the tears that were starting to build.

“He hardly ever gives Dad the time of day,” Aegon continued but Sansa still couldn’t muster enough courage to look at him. “Dad tries to buy his affection, you know? So, I guess Jon needed money or something.”

“Architects are high earners though,” she responded with a puzzled frown. “Why would he need money from Rhaegar?”

Aegon shrugged. “Dunno. Must be important though if he couldn’t wait for his next pay. Anyway, I’m sure he said he was coming back today though. I can give him a quick ring and see if he’s home yet.”

“No,” Sansa sighed, finally looking away from the counter but still unable to look at him fully. Instead, she focused on the wall ahead of her as she blinked back her tears. “No, it doesn’t matter.”

She turned away quickly before he could see the way her eyes welled up. Stepping out of the café, she wiped her eyes harshly and made her way back down the street to her flat.

_Stupid, stupid girl. Jon told you not to fall for him._

She pressed her back against the door as she closed it and heaved a long sigh. Her eyes fell on the sofa, remembering when Jon had come over the night before she went to visit her parents. Her eyes burned as she thought of how good it had felt, how confident he made her feel and cursed herself for letting her guard down.

_He makes all his girls feel that way. You weren’t anything special._

Wiping her eyes, she took a shaky breath to calm herself. She had a date in three hours and she’d be damned if she was going to let Jon Snow ruin her any more than he already had.

_What if I want you to ruin me?_

She huffed, shaking her head as she tried to dislodge her memories.

“Stupid,” she muttered to herself as she stormed into her bedroom and wrenched her bottom drawer open to pull a towel out.

The shower helped to clear her thoughts and as she got dressed afterwards, she forced herself to think of her date with Pod and not all the times with Jon. She had just sat down at her vanity table and uncapped her lipstick when the buzzer went.

Frowning in puzzlement at her alarm clock, she made her way out into the hallway. The restaurant they were going to was only around the corner from her flat. She had told Pod that she would meet him there but a thrill went through her to think that maybe he was coming to her door with flowers after all. But then, it was at least an hour too early.

Her giddiness evaporated as she lifted the phone and greeted her visitor only for Jon’s voice to reply.

“Can we talk?”

“I’m going on a date,” she replied instantly. A part of her was smug at the silence he responded with.

“It won’t take long,” he said after a moment.

A petty part of her wanted to say no but her finger found the button all the same. She crossed her arms over herself in annoyance as she waited for him. It seemed to take him a lot longer than normal to reach her front door.

“Sansa,” he murmured. She felt her breath hitch at the softness in his voice and immediately scowled at herself. He had no right to say her name like that.

“What do you want?” she responded dully, keeping her eyes firmly on the wall in front of her.

“I, uh, I wanted to tell you that I’m getting therapy.”

Her eyebrows rose and she turned to him before she could stop himself. His mouth twitched slightly with that adorable smile of his that he used to hide his nervousness.

“That’s good,” she replied, her arms finally dropping from around her body to fall to her sides.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. “I’m sorry I was such an ass to you.”

“You were honest,” she said with a shrug that didn’t convey nonchalance as well as she had hoped. “You told me not to expect more from you.”

“But that’s the thing!” he interrupted her harshly, running a hand over his face now. He pressed his lips together for a brief second. “I was a coward. It was me, it was all me Sansa. I was too much of a coward to tell you I fancied you all those years ago because I never thought I was good enough for you.”

“That’s not my fault!” she huffed, glaring at him. Jon held his hand up in surrender and gave her a short nod.

“I know, I didn’t mean to suggest it was. It was my insecurities. I never knew what a healthy relationship looked like until I met your family. Between your parents, Robb and Jeyne and then Arya and Gendry, I thought about how I wanted something like that. I really liked you Sansa but I knew I wouldn’t be able to make you happy.”

“So, what changed?” she asked.

“I did what I did best,” he answered with a sigh. “I got the thrills from one-night stands or friends with benefits. Anything to fill the void really. And then Ygritte happened and well, I thought maybe I could make it work. Maybe I could have a decent relationship after all. And, at first, it seemed like it would work out fine. But then, when I took her home to meet everyone and she got called Sansa…well, it went to shit.”

He took a deep breath and shook his head slightly before he continued.

“I was a coward then too. I went on the defensive after admitting I had had a crush on you before. I hated that she could see right through me. I told her she was being stupid and jealous and all sorts of horrible things because I don’t know how to cope with disagreements in a relationship. I have no experience of seeing compromise or just talking shit out because Dad would just dump girls when he got bored or when they started to annoy him. So, when Ygritte left, and I learned about the baby, I made myself promise that I wouldn’t ever let myself get that close to someone again.”

Sansa bit her lip as she felt frustrated tears begin to cloud her vision. She turned away from him once more, trying to compose herself and hating him once more for causing her such stress.

“I didn’t know you had a date,” he mumbled. If she were to turn around, he would be looking solemnly at the floor in broody shame. She hated how she knew that.

“Well, now you do,” she commented. She cringed at how hard her voice sounded and when she saw the way his eyes widened in hurt, she felt guilty. At least for a moment before she looked away again. “I think you should go.”

“Sansa,” he murmured, taking a step towards her. The look she shot him made him pause. He swallowed thickly, his hand clenching by his side. “Sansa, please.”

“I can’t,” she replied. She frowned at the high pitch of her voice, the stinging in her eyes telling her she was about to cry yet again. “It isn’t up to me to heal you Jon. I’m not your saviour or anything. You can’t get help just for me. It has to be for you.”

“I know!” he stated, voice harsher than he probably intended, if the way he cringed was anything to go by. “I want to get better for me too. I don’t ever want to make the same mistake again. I’m done Sansa, do you hear me?” He stepped towards her again and this time, she only watched him warily but gave him no indication not to continue. “If you really don’t want to wait for me, that’s fine. You seemed happy when I saw you on that date. I understand if you choose him.”

“It is what you’ve been telling me all this time. You told me to find someone who would treat me right,” she countered, folding her arms defensively across her chest. Still, she can’t seem to give him any signal that she doesn’t want him to come closer. Because she does. She truly does.

“I know,” he sighed softly. “I had it all wrong. I shouldn’t be pushing people away because of my own insecurities. I should be dealing with them properly.” He reached for her hand and suddenly, the cloud of hazy want was broken. She jerked away, turning her back on him once more.

“I have a date,” she repeated.

Why couldn’t she say that with more conviction? Pod was what she should want. He was definitely what she needed. Someone steady and sweet, someone who was honest with what he wanted and never made her feel confused about what she wanted.

But its Jon she has always wanted regardless. And it hurt, it hurt so much to pull away from him and reject him. Her head was flickering images of them in her mind. The lingering of his scent between them only making the memories of him above her, inside her, more vivid. His proximity made her want to turn around and press her mouth desperately to his. She wanted him to grasp her hips, wanted him to hike up her dress and claim her with his hands, his tongue, his cock.

But she knew that no matter how strong her desire, no matter how talented he was in the bedroom, she didn’t know if she could trust him or be happy with him forever. His past spoke of all the girls he had left broken-hearted, his fallout with Robb and Arya was yet more roadblocks in the way of any relationship they could have. Jon knew the words to say but actions spoke louder than words, didn’t they?

“I understand,” he replied, voice low and heavy. She frowned, chancing a glance over her shoulder because she could have sworn by his tone that he was about to cry. He was turned away from her now though, his head lowered in defeat. “I’m still getting help though.”

“Good,” she answered slowly, at a loss of what else she could say.

“I…I hope you’re happy Sansa. You’ve always deserved it.”

She watched him head for the door, her arms finally dropping to her sides. She was so confused as her heart hammered in her chest and her mind whirled. The teenager in her was screaming that he should stay and fight for her like all her favourite romantic movie and novel tropes. The mature part of her knew he was being a much better person in letting her make her own decisions.

She sighed in frustration, pressing her hands against her face as she tried to compose herself before getting ready for her date.

***

“You okay?” Pod asked gently.

Sansa started, glancing up from where she had been watching her fork push a cherry tomato around her plate. Blinking slightly, she cleared her throat and forced her brightest smile.

“Sorry,” she replied genuinely. “I, uh, I had a weird day today.”

“Want to talk about it?”

She cursed as those simple words made her eyes blur again. Christ, she really was crying a lot today she thought with a grimace. But she understood it a little. After all, here Pod was, a truly sweet guy who made her feel special and was genuinely interested in her life. And all she had been doing all evening was think of Jon. The guilt was an easy explanation for her sudden uncontrollable need to cry.

She excused herself to the bathroom before she could embarrass herself even more. Sitting on the closed lid, she blew her nose and wiped her eyes. Taking the pocket mirror out of her bag, she grimaced at her reflection before digging for her mascara to reapply it.

Her hand brushed the outside of the little pocket at the back of her bag, the shape of her emergency tampons brushing her knuckles. She rolled her eyes, a laugh bubbling in her throat as she shook her head. Her period was due any day now, she thought. She always got emotional when it was near.

Cleaning herself up and happy she looked fantastic once more, she left the bathroom and made her way back to the table with a more genuine smile.

Pod asked her again if she was alright as she sat back down and she gave him a sweet smile as she assured him that she was fine.

She felt sick but kept eating to distract herself from thoughts of Jon. She forced herself to listen to Pod, ignoring the guilty part of her which said that Pod was actually really interesting and her lack of interest was only because she still couldn’t get Jon out of her mind.

When they had arrived outside her flat, he leaned in for a kiss and she had closed her eyes and let him. It was nice, he was good. And for a brief second, she contemplated asking him up to hers. Maybe he could fuck the thought of Jon out of her. And she had felt such shame at the idea, angry at herself for even thinking of using someone like that. That’s what Jon did, he used sex to hide his feelings.

“I’m sorry,” she sighed, eyes darting to her feet as she pulled away from him. She shook her head slowly. “I like you, I think you’re good for me.” She looked up at him but had to look down again when she saw his brow creased in hurt confusion. “I just… I need to sort my head out. I have a lot going on up there just now and I don’t think I should be in a relationship right now.”

“Okay,” he said slowly, sighing sadly. “I’m sorry to hear that because I really like you.”

“I like you too,” she replied, shaking her head again to gather her courage. “But it isn’t fair to lead you on when my heart isn’t in it.”

“Well, if you sort things out, give me a call, yeah?” he asked with a soft smile. She gave him a sad one in return and stepped into his arms when he opened them out for a hug.

“I really am sorry,” she mumbled, stepping back.

“Hey, we had fun. And if you get your head sorted, let me know.”

She smiled at him again, giving him a small wave as he left. She sighed to herself again when she entered her building and made her way up the stairs.

Part of her had expected Jon to be there waiting for her like in the movies. But she was glad he wasn’t. Seeing him would just leave her even more confused.

Tossing her handbag on the counter she marched to the freezer and pulled out a tub of Ben and Jerry’s cookie dough ice cream. She wrenched the lid off and dug for a spoon in the drawer before attacking the tub with more aggression than she had intended.

She was annoyed at Jon for pushing her away all this time, only to make a move when he had seen her with someone else. She couldn’t trust him, she shouldn’t.

He got a thrill from taking her, from being her real first positive and pleasurable experience from sex. Sweet Sansa Stark reduced to a wanton, debauched mess, that was all he had wanted. She was just another tick off his list of conquests.

Tears came to her eyes again and she wiped them away harshly. The ice cream was making her stomach hurt so she replaced the lid and got up to wash the spoon.

After she had washed the make-up off her face and changed into her pyjamas, she climbed into bed, clutching the pillow close and forcing herself not to think of Jon lying there beside her.

She was well rid of Jon Snow, she told herself.


End file.
